THE VIDEO White Lion, "When the Children Cry," Pride, 1988, Atlantic Records
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SAMPLE LYRIC "when the cheeeeel-dren cry / let them kno-ow we tried / 'cause when the cheeeel-dren sing / then the new world begins"
EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION I'm warning you now: I am pretty sure this is the most boring synopsis of a video I have ever written. Unless you're a White Lion superfan (or more likely, superhater), skip directly to "The Verdict" if you know what's good for you. The video opens with all of the guys in the band standing backstage in an awkward row, as if posing for a picture they're not quite sure about. Then we see Mike Tramp's face, first obscured by darkness and then gradually growing more lit before fading away again.
Cut to guitarist Vito Bratta playing an acoustic guitar while sitting on the edge of …uh… not sure what this thing is. Some piece of playground equipment (or maybe it is just a really futuristic style white bench). It looks like it has just rained. This is interspersed with shots of Mike looking pained, his mane waving gently in the wind.
We briefly see a concert shot of a much more jubilant Mike cavorting about before we see Mike silhouetted in profile (looking like Joey Lawrence with a wig on) beginning his plaintive song. The camera pans along near the ground, passing empty swings and then the bottom of a slide, traveling up it before going back to Mike.
We see Vito again, then a concert shot of a much burlier looking Mike and James LoMenzo. I am thinking the thing Vito is sitting on is one of those things where you grab a handle and run next to it, then you jump on while it's spinning. A weird looking one of those. Anyway.
We see a daytime shot of children swinging on the swings, with one boy running in front, then a closeup of a shirtless, crying toddler wearing overalls. A woman's hand comes in from off camera and wipes at his tears. We then see a fuller shot of Mike, followed by footage of a little boy running away from the camera, then Mike running across a stage.
For the chorus, we see each band member lit and then in darkness. First goes Mike (duh), then Vito, then Greg D'Angelo, then James. We then see Mike singing this song in concert wearing a heavily embellished denim jacket.
The next shot is beneath a child swinging on a swing set, then we quickly see a passed out bearded dude laying in the grass (shirtless) with a blonde toddler (also shirtless) asleep on top of him. Mike shakes the hands of people in the crowd, then we see film of little girls playing in a fountain and running, a blonde toddler and dad emerging from water in a lake, and a child riding a swing shaped like a carousel horse.
The longer Mike sings, the more puppy dog his expression, so by the time he reaches the first big "no more presidents," he's looking pretty Precious Moments.
Luckily, we cut from him to a skeptical looking girl sitting on a swing seen behind a wire fence. Then we see Vito, then (gag) Mike tilts his gaze skyward for "under god." Okay, now we see a bunch of kids playing on the thing I was talking about before, the spinning thing. On second thought, it looks mad different from the thing Vito was sitting on, which now Mike is sitting on.
Vito switches to a weird looking electric guitar for the solo, and we see random babies and children, shots of Vito playing the solo in concert, and mad close-ups of his hands. Then we see Greg looking pensive in an empty arena (White Lion played arenas? Sheesh!) then Mike singing before a lighter-hoisting crowd. He emotes like crazy, making lots of meaningful eye contact and kneeling down near the crowd.
Then we're beneath the swinging kid again, and watching a little boy climb the ladder to a slide as the final chorus swells and White Lion toss their hair all around the stage. We see a dubious looking little girl, then empty swings, then Mike hits that final "then the neeeeewww world be-gii-iiins" and we see each of the band members one last time -- James wearing extremely short shorts and sitting in an empty arena, Greg waving to the crowd, Vito playing onstage wearing all white and dark sunglasses, and Mike wearing a sleeveless AC/DC tee with his hair in a weird topknot while holding a mic pre-show. Our final shot is of Mike raising his hand before a sea of lighters. *sigh*
THE VERDICT Sorry dudes, but White Lion are hella lame. I remember back when this song achieved near-saturation on MTV, it was annoying then and it's annoying now. It is odd, I will admit to find a song this calculated to pluck groupies' heartstrings that isn't about the loneliness of life on the road (viz. "I Won't Forget You" and "Wanted: Dead or Alive," to cite examples from Poison and Bon Jovi) or wistful yearning for the one that got away (again, see "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" or "I'll Be There For You") is unusual. Instead, we get the "I believe the children are the future" (you know the song I mean, I'm so not looking up the actual title) of heavy metal. Sigh.
Though they'd go on to do a competent cover of "Radar Love," I just can't get behind White Lion. I feel like too much of their success is pegged to Mike Tramp's good looks (a result of being Danish, I guess -- then again, look at Lars Ulrich). While we all know that I am hardly averse to admiring the good looks of musicians (*cough* George Lynch *cough* *cough* Warren DeMartini), what makes these guys super-hot is the combination of good looks and plenty of talent, as opposed to good looks tempered with singing wussy songs in a wussy voice, which I simply can't abide.
I must say though, having now gone to his website I do feel kind of bad for the guy -- old age is especially rough on that type of cuteness (just look at Sebastian Bach) and Mr. Tramp is no exception. The weirdest part? No, not his full sleeve of tattoos (though that did throw me for a loop). The fact that, in aging, he and Joey Lawrence do indeed appear to be becoming the same person -- what was once a resemblance is rapidly approaching a separated-at-birth situation. Bizarre.