Suicidal Tendencies, "Institutionalized"

I'M NOT CRAZY  

THE VIDEO Suicidal Tendencies, "Institutionalized," Suicidal Tendencies, 1983, Frontier 

SAMPLE LYRIC "I'm not crazy! / [Institutionalized!] / You're the one that's crazy! / [Institutionalized!] / You're driving me crazy! / [Institutionalized!]" 

THE VERDICT Suicidal Tendencies is one of those bands I was really on the fence about, not about whether they're a quality band (they are) but are they technically metal. In the end, I decided they're metal enough because a) there was a Headbangers Ball episode where Riki Rachtman had a barbecue with them (and if I remember correctly, inexplicably a pre-fame Mark McGrath was there — God bless the person who put this on Youtube, btw); b) they play the heck out of this video on Metal Mania; and c) Rob Trujillo is in Metallica now (even if he wasn't in ST yet when they did this one). Actually with their short hair and love of money, how metal Metallica are is something else we could debate. But we'll save it for later. 

I hadn't listened to this song in a while, and then it happened to come up while I was just shuffling all my music, and damn if it didn't fit with how I'm feeling right about now. I'm getting married in less than a month, and if you've never done it, I wouldn't advise it. Dude, it is a freakin' nightmare. Think the wedding is about you and your intended? It's not. It's about everyone else and their BS demands. And then there's school, which is a whole other thing, but a bit of the same story lately. All I do is play everybody's reindeer games, and still somehow I'm the one with the problem.

 

So something about Mike Muir and all the sort of "I've done everything you've ever asked me and yet you say I'm the one who's crazy" stuff in this song really resonated with me. I actually used to listen to this song a lot when I lived in New York. I had a lot of issues with my job, and I had a whole playlist I would listen to in the subway on my way to work to like, prepare myself mentally for dealing with my workday. 

I don't remember all of it, but it definitely had "Institutionalized," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," and "Peace Sells (But Who's Buying)". (I know, based on the title that last one sounds random, but think about the verses — "What do you mean I can't get to work on time? / Got nothin' better to do" etc.) Anyway it worked for me. By the time I got to work I had musically sublimated my full-tilt pissed-off-ness. Okay I'm making myself sound crazy now (you're the one that's crazy!). 

Calm yourselves, I was just quoting this song. Suicidal Tendencies are just a really cool LA band. I want to say I love their look, but we need to be realistic, this isn't a look for them, this is how they're dressing. But to the extent this video got airplay, I feel like this is probably the first exposure the rest of the country got to the Venice/LA-version of cholo style. I mean this video's got it all, from the bandannas to the plaid shirts to the skateboarders — you can watch it and see where all the junk you see for sale at PacSun and those kinds of stores got ripped off from. 

I mean seriously people. It's 1983. This is probably the earliest video there is that features a lowrider. We're almost ten years before "Nuthin' But a G Thang" (1992, for the record). The only other thing from the same era I've seen with a similar look to this is the first (I know, for once not talking about Part II) Decline of Western Civilization movie. Which is, obvs, about LA punk circa this time period. 

 

I've actually been having a correspondence with one of this site's most regular readers (thanks for reading!) about songs that infantilize metal fans — e.g. songs that talk about "kids", prompted by my "Crazy Babies" post but also loosely encompassing "Rock N Roll Children," "I Wanna Rock," and a whole host of others. This one does fit in with that somewhat, as the narrative mainly covers altercations with one's parents. That said though, I have to give it a pass, 'cause it's just too good a song. I don't even drink soda, and yet I feel like I want my epitaph to be "All I wanted was a Pepsi!" 

Okay okay okay, but what happens in the video. Well, a couple different things. The video starts off with Mike pretty much just talking to the camera and walking around while the rest of the band plays, and kids do skateboard tricks in a sort of abandoned warehouse. (Admittedly, this one looks way more like an actual abandoned warehouse than most ones in music videos do.) Also of note: Slayer's Tom Araya is in the video for two seconds — he shoves Mike as he walks past him. 

For most people though, the most memorable sequences of the video are those that take place at Mike's "home." The rest of the band (at this point in history, Grant Estes, Louiche Mayorga, and Amery Smith) drops Mike off, and he heads inside to avoid his crazy parents, who at first are out on the lawn but soon come in to harass him (and begin converting his bedroom into a padded cell). 

His dad is played by Jack Nance (known best for being in all things David Lynch), though I think he looks a little like an older Brian Doyle Murray, aka Noah from Noah's Arcade. His mom is played by Mary Woronov, who fascinatingly was part of the whole Andy Warhol Factory scene.

 

That said, I don't feel this part that much. Any sequence with parents ripping posters off walls always stresses me out — dude I would like those posters please! Damn. 

In any event, after being completely subdued by his parents, somehow or another Mike is suddenly out of his straitjacket. The rest of the band ties their lowrider to the bars on his windows and yanks the wall straight off the house, allowing him to escape and finish playing the song in concert with them. 

The concert sequences are also straight outta Decline Part I, albeit with the addition of a teacher, a priest, and some kind of creepy army officer. You know, the usual for metal videos that are complaining about school. 

Okay, now that for one week at least I've done a legit post focusing on the video, it's time for the tangents. One, how can we forget that Suicidal Tendencies have a cameo doing this song on Miami Vice! I mean yes, not in the best episode ever (it's in "Free Verse"), but still. They would have fit in more in "Nobody Lives Forever," I think. 

In a similar-ish vein, let us not forget that this song is also in Repo Man. I know, it's punk, not metal, but you can not deny Repo Man. 

And of course, if you read this regularly, you can guess that I think Beavis and Butt-head's viewing of this clip is amazing. I love Beavis' constant agreement with Mike's narrative. Butt-head just yells "Shut up!", but Beavis goes right along, sometimes following the song and sometimes improvising -- "and I get all frustrated, and start kicking, and like burning things." 

I also enjoy that Butt-head then mimics the kind of therapy-speak parodied in the song — he tells Beavis, "I feel your pain." Butt-head finally gets Beavis to clam up by saying "About once a year they play something cool, and you have to talk through it." Then they both headbang through the end of the song. 

Now if I can somehow just headbang through the rest of the summer....

 

Scorpions, "Big City Nights"

Summer Tour, Makes Me Feel Fine  

THE VIDEO Scorpions, "Big City Nights," World Wide Live, 1985, Mercury 

SAMPLE LYRIC "Big city! / Big city nights! / you keep me run-nin!" 

THE VERDICT Last year I made a concerted effort to do summertime videos, and back then I included this one from the Scorpions 'cause it's amazingly cheesy and less well-known. But thinking today about what would be a good summertime video, this Scorps classic of course came to me right away. 

I mean for sure, "Big City Nights" is a great song. Even more than other Scorpions tunes for me, it's chock full of great almost-nonsense lyrics that are nonetheless very evocative. I'd say that "a long sweet minute" is one of my favorite expressions in all of heavy metal, and who knows what they're even talking about! Nonetheless, I would totally name my hypothetical memoir that. 

I also appreciate that it's cool to hear a "touring is rad" song for a change, instead of the constant "touring is sooo hard, you guys" whine-fests we usually get. We know, we know, new city, same faces, riding around on the bus, pretending you miss some girlfriend/wife back home while you defile groupies. We get it. 

"Big City Nights" actually makes it seem like touring is pretty cool. As does this video, made for their World Wide Live album/home video. It's shot a little bit all over the place, but mostly in Southern California. Two Los Angeles dates, a Costa Mesa date, and one at the San Diego Sports Arena! (All in April 1984.) 

The behind-the-scenes stuff though appears to have been shot all over the place — you clearly see the Scorps on several different continents, and weirdly the only shots where you can definitely tell where they are in the U.S. are in Illinois (at the Rosemont Horizon).

 

You know the performance shots in this video have a lot from the Cali segments though, since at the end Klaus Meine thanks California and says California keeps them "run-in-in-in-in-in-in." This makes me assume the beach scenes are in California, even if the skimpiness of the bathing suits and the level of tanning in these scenes makes me think Brazil. Then again, it was the 80s. These were the years of baby oil, not sunblock. 

In general, I feel like the "Big City Nights" video is most memorable for being full of amazing 80s babes. I like that (also as per live video cliche) they cut together the footage of random women with random shots of the Scorpions playing live so it appears that, e.g., Matthias Jabs is reacting with a lecherous grin to a woman winking at the camera in a totally different place. 

In addition to the beach babes (did they even know they'd wind up in a Scorpions video?), we also get to see the chicks who appear to be in the Scorpions' entourage. In particular there's this one woman who looks like a very 80s, very tarted up Sandra Bullock who shows up in all the WWL vids. She appears to be Herman Rarebell's girlfriend, and pops up as the sexy pool player in this one. I like though the woman in the background, reading House & Garden magazine while dressed like a dominatrix. 

Though I feel like the bikini footage is kind of the most notable element of this clip, "Big City Nights" still does have tour video cliches. Think: the view through the front window of bus, autograph signings, arena shots, sweaty fans, over-enthusiastic women making their way onto the stage, the band making their way to the stage, roadies testing equipment, hanging out backstage wearing towels, male fans who look like their passion in singing along is about to make them explode. I mean that guy toward the end is really excited to be singing along with this song.

 

And babes and other cliches aside, the thing we see the most is lots of shots of the Scorpions goofing around — they always seem like fun and friendly guys in their videos, who've got a good sense of humor about themselves. 

They're all constantly horsing around though, whether they're waiting around a hotel lobby or boarding a plane. I mean you can't get a camera near Rudy Schenker without him making a silly face. Weirdly we see Klaus Meine kind of the least in this footage, but he's always up to something, usually dancing. In one shot he's dancing with a flamenco dancer, in another, with a belly dancer. 

And then of course, there is the actual live footage of the band. I like the WWL stage set — it looks like a giant stereo from the 80s. Like think of the stereo that gets destroyed in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. It's sort of a lot of horizontal black stuff, but then the glowing colors — shading from red to yellow to green — look like equalizer bars. 

You don't really see stereos looking like that any more do you? Hell, these days everything is just like, a big speaker with an iPod dock stuck on the top of it. I wonder if bands these days do stage sets that look like that (I mean hell, you know I don't know the answer to that one). 

P.S.: It's as un-metal as it gets, but don't act like you don't get the reference in this post's title.

Def Leppard, "Me and My Wine"

Would You Like Some Cheese With That?  

THE VIDEO Def Leppard, "Me and My Wine," Bringin' on the Heartbreak (single), 1981, Mercury

  

SAMPLE LYRIC "Me and the boys have been drinking / feelin' like this is the wrong time for thinking / all I can say is I'm doing fine / with just me and my wiiiiine" 

THE VERDICT This very early Def Leppard video presents something of a mystery: Why on earth was a video made for a song that was a B-side for a single? (Particularly given that the contemporaneous video for its A-side, "Bringin' on the Heartbreak," is just a video of a live performance.) Why was it made late enough (1982 at least) to feature Phil Collen instead of Pete Willis, despite Pete playing on the track? And whose house is this, anyway? 

Okay, so we're never going to know, though I will point out that this video is part of a great British tradition of making cheap videos at home, from the metal (Mama's Boys' version of "Mama Weer All Crazee Now", par exemplar) to the totally not-metal (Madness' "Our House", e.g.). It's funny, I feel like I should be talking about this video in British English and saying "estates" and such, but then I would totally not know what I was talking about, so it wouldn't work. But I just want to put it out there. 

Anyway. What's going on in this video? Well, we've got this sort of first-person camera going through this house, eventually into the bedroom, where it lands on lead singer Joe Elliott. Joe is sleeping in a sleeveless tee and suspenders, or he's trying to, anyway — he's holding the pillow over his head, and all the lights are on and stuff. 

His alarm goes off, and he smashes the clock with the mallet he apparently keeps on the ground next to his bed. O-kayyy. This makes the super-cute stuffed animal he has next to the clock fall over (my favorite part of the video for whatever reason), as well as toppling a statue of the Virgin Mary. 

Though attempting to appear hungover, I have to say, the older the Def Leppard video, the better Joe looks to me. He looks super fit in this video, both in the British English sense and the American English sense. 

The house, however, is less so — it's a total mess! We see a can of shaving cream shooting lather everywhere, and lots of of issues of Playboy are stashed about. (Oh gosh, now I am kind of veering into that Madonna-British territory — like where you're so not English, but you start talking with a clipped tone and saying things like "stashed about.")

Joe matches this with his grouchiness — about the first third of the video is just him yelling at the camera. Anyway, once Joe is up and around, he heads into the hallway where Rick Allen is banging a snare drum. Joe takes away his drumsticks, throwing them into the air. I should note that not only does Rick have both arms in this vid (obviously), he also looks realllly young — you definitely are reminded of the whole "he joined the band when he was 15" thing.

 

Then Joe goes into the bathroom, where Phil Collen is playing guitar in the tub — no water, he's fully dressed. He also has weirdly long hair for him. I often think he looks kind of like Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but especially so here. 

Anyway, Joe washes his face, and we can see Steve Clark and Rick Savage in the background through some windows (windows from the bathroom to the hallway? Or are they levitating outdoors? I'm not sure). Joe throws his towel over camera and heads downstairs. On the stairs Joe somehow bumps into Phil, who has materialized from the shower to the stairwell. Oh, I should also mention that Joe is now brushing his teeth, though it looks like he forgot the toothpaste. He then pushes Rick S. and Steve out of the way as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. 

Joe heads into the kitchen, which is a disaster, the messiest room yet. Though it's cleaner than this, one can't help but be reminded of the infamous "breakfast with Ozzy" scene in The Decline of Western Civilization, Part II (or maybe it's just that it's been a while since I've mentioned that one, and if you read this regularly you know I mention it all the time). 

For someone who's ostensibly hungover, Joe keeps moving aside the blinds and looking into the glaring sunlight — no offense, but based on my experiences abroad, this video appears to have been shot on the sunniest day in England's history! After spitting out whatever he was drinking — when he poured it it appeared to be tea or coffee or something, but when he spat it out it looked to be just water — Joe leaps into the living room, where the rest of the guys are already playing. 

Okay, it's not just Rick, everyone looks so young. Rick Allen is wearing what would undoubtedly today be a quite valuable ZZ Top baseball tee, while Rick Savage has on an artfully-cut white tee and sunglasses. Steve Clark looks super young, and his hair kind of looks like a dead animal (and I say this with love, 'cause Steve was always my favorite). 

Another fascinating part of this video -- Rick's bass drum says "Deaf Leopard." Wow, seeing it spelled like that makes it look like kind of the worst band name ever. Not as bad as all those band names you see these days that are like crappy hipster sentences (you know who you are), but still, not a good band name. 

 

Next thing you know, we're back in the bathroom. Rick is drumming on the toilet. No, not like, hitting the toilet with drumsticks. I mean he is sitting on the toilet while drumming. Steve and Phil are both playing guitar in the tub/shower, which is a bit steamy. Oh wait, I mean literally, there is fog in the air. Not like, they are taking a sexy shower together. Rick S. is sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the tub. Phil keeps messing with everyone, trying to play Steve's guitar and put his foot on Rick's shoulder. 

Suddenly, Joe's back in bed, and the rest of the boys are back in the living room. Wait, now Joe's there as well. What's going on? Is Joe dreaming all this? Or has this just been edited with little regard for continuity? 

And how have I forgotten to mention 'til now that when they're in the living room, everyone else has real instruments, but Joe is singing into the handle of an upright vacuum cleaner? (See, shouldn't I be calling it a hoover or something?) Now Joe's back in bed and pulling the sheets over his head. And now he's dunking his head in a sinkful of water! Dang, this song should've been called "Me and My Whine." No, just kidding Joe. 

The video ends with a zoom away from a face-making Joe to show the whole band standing in front of the house. Dang, this is a weird video. Apparently it was very popular though during MTV's infancy, when they not only still played videos, they were grateful to have videos to play. 

Thanks to native Sheffielder Andy for requesting this one, and for pointing out that no matter what folks say, this clip is not an homage to The Young Ones, it's just an awesomely low-budget metal video!

Kix, "Blow My Fuse"

Hometown Heroes  

THE VIDEO Kix, "Blow My Fuse," Blow My Fuse, 1988, Atlantic 

SAMPLE LYRIC "Blow my fuse! / (Hey hey!) You got nothin' to lose / Blow my fuse! / I need a good shot, I can't give it to you" 

THE VERDICT Okay, I know I swore last week that I would stop mailing it in. But please, guys, you've got to cut me some slack. I know it's summer, but I'm actually busier than ever, and even though my normal M.O. is to write posts weeks in advance, at some point I caught up with myself, and now here we are. That said, I figured a not-quite-as-insanely-detailed-as-usual post was better than no post, so here's Kix. 

I've got to tell you — back when all I really knew of Kix was "Don't Close Your Eyes," I was like, they're fine but, eh. Now that I'm much more familiar with the entire Kix oeuvre, I've got to say, they are like the best bar band you've never heard. 

I mean yes, they sure do love to use sex metaphors that involve electricity and explosives, so much so that it's kind of weird. I mean if you really listen to this song, it's basically saying "short circuit me in bed." Is this a good idea? 

Sure, in the short term, I guess. But have Steve Whiteman et al. really thought through all these blown fuses? Then again, I guess they can just light a candle and like, go get a replacement at the hardware store, so. (Though what that would mean in terms of sexual metaphor, I'm not really sure.) 

ANYWAY. I bring up the bar band thing 'cause this video, even though it's from an album pretty far down the line in Kix's career, is more or less a testament to the band's longstanding local following and tireless gig-playing in and around Baltimore. I think the girl at the beginning holding the Maryland "KIX FAN" license plate pretty much sums it up. 

I mean, what do you think of when you think of Baltimore? The Wire. Syphilis. Kix. 

This video is split between two basic things going on. The more interesting footage, to my mind, is of Kix hanging out in and around Baltimore. Apparently they are mainly in a part of Baltimore known as "The Block" — apparently a stretch of East Baltimore Street that's mostly strip clubs and related stuff.

   

In any event, in this video we see a lot of stuff that's hard to identify (a diner and a peep palace, in particular), but we also see prominently the signs for several establishments, most notably the Midway Bar, but also the Two O' Clock Club (which has an adorably retro sign for a strip club), the subtly-named Club Pussy Cat,  and a couple others. 

In these montages, which all take place at night, we basically see the members of Kix hanging out in these different haunts, or in most cases, loitering outside them. They interact colorfully with the locals, who seem to consist of old men in various hats (knit cap, captain's hat), and then just a constant stream of moderately attractive women in high-waisted miniskirts and giant earrings. Hey, it was 1988. That's probably what I'd have been wearing had I had more say in my wardrobe back then. 

And speaking of wardrobes... ooh, they taunt me with visions of a "Blow My Fuse" t-shirt in this video. If you read this regularly, you know I collect vintage metal tees, and man, in all my searching I've never run across a Kix tee. I'd be so stoked to find one. 

I actually just got back from a trip (the zillionth reason I'm behind on blogging) where I got a 1992 Slaughter The Wild Life tee (inexpensive and not too exciting) and a 1985 Mötley Crüe Theatre of Pain tee (very expensive and very exciting). I can't even imagine finding a Kix shirt though. 

Actually, there's a bunch of Kix merch in this video. At one point, Steve has on sort of round John Lennon sunglasses that have the Kix logo on the lenses, and I think he may have a Kix backpatch on the back of the denim vest he's wearing. 

I should point out that, as always, Kix look amazing in this video. This is a band that has incredible style, and it seems to come so naturally— they all kind of go in different directions, from t-shirts to sheer blouses, and yet it all works. 

Oh wait, duh, I should mention — this is what like, the bulk of the video is like, it's Kix playing live. Based on the size of the venue and how unbelievably enthusiastic the crowd is, I'd guess they're in Baltimore and this was a fan club call-out type deal to recruit audience members. I mean these people are stoked to see Kix, and they don't look like they're just waiting for them to play "Don't Close Your Eyes." Trust me, if that's the only Kix song you know, you're missing out — and not just on all the weird electricity sex metaphors.

2020 UPDATE: I'm trying hard not to annotate these, but given how much I go on about it above — I had totally forgotten about that whole t-shirt digression I wrote there, but I now totally own a Kix "Blow My Fuse" t-shirt. It's not the one from the video, but it's similar. It's the most recently-added shirt in my collection (my vintage-shirt-energy has long since waned, though I still have my entire collection except for my Tesla tee which I am supermad I don't have anymore). I found it at a Goodwill in 2015 in NWOT condition. It didn't have a copyright date on it, and I was like... this has to be repro, right? But then I thought, "who the heck is making reproduction vintage Kix tees?" And indeed, upon further inspection of the fabric, tag, and printing, yeah — it's a legit vintage Kix tee. Glad I managed to make that (admittedly forgotten) dream come true!