THE VIDEO Def Leppard, "Me and My Wine," Bringin' on the Heartbreak (single), 1981, Mercury
SAMPLE LYRIC "Me and the boys have been drinking / feelin' like this is the wrong time for thinking / all I can say is I'm doing fine / with just me and my wiiiiine"
THE VERDICT This very early Def Leppard video presents something of a mystery: Why on earth was a video made for a song that was a B-side for a single? (Particularly given that the contemporaneous video for its A-side, "Bringin' on the Heartbreak," is just a video of a live performance.) Why was it made late enough (1982 at least) to feature Phil Collen instead of Pete Willis, despite Pete playing on the track? And whose house is this, anyway?
Okay, so we're never going to know, though I will point out that this video is part of a great British tradition of making cheap videos at home, from the metal (Mama's Boys' version of "Mama Weer All Crazee Now", par exemplar) to the totally not-metal (Madness' "Our House", e.g.). It's funny, I feel like I should be talking about this video in British English and saying "estates" and such, but then I would totally not know what I was talking about, so it wouldn't work. But I just want to put it out there.
Anyway.
What's going on in this video? Well, we've got this sort of first-person camera going through this house, eventually into the bedroom, where it lands on lead singer Joe Elliott. Joe is sleeping in a sleeveless tee and suspenders, or he's trying to, anyway — he's holding the pillow over his head, and all the lights are on and stuff.
His alarm goes off, and he smashes the clock with the mallet he apparently keeps on the ground next to his bed. O-kayyy. This makes the super-cute stuffed animal he has next to the clock fall over (my favorite part of the video for whatever reason), as well as toppling a statue of the Virgin Mary.
Though attempting to appear hungover, I have to say, the older the Def Leppard video, the better Joe looks to me. He looks super fit in this video, both in the British English sense and the American English sense.
The house, however, is less so — it's a total mess! We see a can of shaving cream shooting lather everywhere, and lots of of issues of Playboy are stashed about. (Oh gosh, now I am kind of veering into that Madonna-British territory — like where you're so not English, but you start talking with a clipped tone and saying things like "stashed about.")
Joe matches this with his grouchiness — about the first third of the video is just him yelling at the camera.
Anyway, once Joe is up and around, he heads into the hallway where Rick Allen is banging a snare drum. Joe takes away his drumsticks, throwing them into the air. I should note that not only does Rick have both arms in this vid (obviously), he also looks realllly young — you definitely are reminded of the whole "he joined the band when he was 15" thing.
Then Joe goes into the bathroom, where Phil Collen is playing guitar in the tub — no water, he's fully dressed. He also has weirdly long hair for him. I often think he looks kind of like Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but especially so here.
Anyway, Joe washes his face, and we can see Steve Clark and Rick Savage in the background through some windows (windows from the bathroom to the hallway? Or are they levitating outdoors? I'm not sure). Joe throws his towel over camera and heads downstairs.
On the stairs Joe somehow bumps into Phil, who has materialized from the shower to the stairwell. Oh, I should also mention that Joe is now brushing his teeth, though it looks like he forgot the toothpaste. He then pushes Rick S. and Steve out of the way as he reaches the bottom of the stairs.
Joe heads into the kitchen, which is a disaster, the messiest room yet. Though it's cleaner than this, one can't help but be reminded of the infamous "breakfast with Ozzy" scene in The Decline of Western Civilization, Part II (or maybe it's just that it's been a while since I've mentioned that one, and if you read this regularly you know I mention it all the time).
For someone who's ostensibly hungover, Joe keeps moving aside the blinds and looking into the glaring sunlight — no offense, but based on my experiences abroad, this video appears to have been shot on the sunniest day in England's history!
After spitting out whatever he was drinking — when he poured it it appeared to be tea or coffee or something, but when he spat it out it looked to be just water — Joe leaps into the living room, where the rest of the guys are already playing.
Okay, it's not just Rick, everyone looks so young. Rick Allen is wearing what would undoubtedly today be a quite valuable ZZ Top baseball tee, while Rick Savage has on an artfully-cut white tee and sunglasses. Steve Clark looks super young, and his hair kind of looks like a dead animal (and I say this with love, 'cause Steve was always my favorite).
Another fascinating part of this video -- Rick's bass drum says "Deaf Leopard." Wow, seeing it spelled like that makes it look like kind of the worst band name ever. Not as bad as all those band names you see these days that are like crappy hipster sentences (you know who you are), but still, not a good band name.
Next thing you know, we're back in the bathroom. Rick is drumming on the toilet. No, not like, hitting the toilet with drumsticks. I mean he is sitting on the toilet while drumming. Steve and Phil are both playing guitar in the tub/shower, which is a bit steamy. Oh wait, I mean literally, there is fog in the air. Not like, they are taking a sexy shower together. Rick S. is sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the tub. Phil keeps messing with everyone, trying to play Steve's guitar and put his foot on Rick's shoulder.
Suddenly, Joe's back in bed, and the rest of the boys are back in the living room. Wait, now Joe's there as well. What's going on? Is Joe dreaming all this? Or has this just been edited with little regard for continuity?
And how have I forgotten to mention 'til now that when they're in the living room, everyone else has real instruments, but Joe is singing into the handle of an upright vacuum cleaner? (See, shouldn't I be calling it a hoover or something?)
Now Joe's back in bed and pulling the sheets over his head. And now he's dunking his head in a sinkful of water! Dang, this song should've been called "Me and My Whine." No, just kidding Joe.
The video ends with a zoom away from a face-making Joe to show the whole band standing in front of the house.
Dang, this is a weird video. Apparently it was very popular though during MTV's infancy, when they not only still played videos, they were grateful to have videos to play.
Thanks to native Sheffielder Andy for requesting this one, and for pointing out that no matter what folks say, this clip is not an homage to The Young Ones, it's just an awesomely low-budget metal video!