Because Every Bad Boy Has His Soft Side
THE VIDEO Guns N Roses, "Patience,"
GNR Lies, 1989, Geffen
Click here to watch this video NOW!SAMPLE LYRIC "Said woman, take it slow / it'll work itself out fine / all we need is just a little patience / said sugar, make it slow / and we come together fine / all we need is just a little patience"
EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION The video begins with a producer's hand turning on a uh… my technical knowledge is not so good here so I'll call it a tape recorder as
Duff says, "one, two, one, two, three, four …."
Izzy (I think, based on the hand only mind you) begins to strum an acoustic guitar, and our own
W. Axl Rose begins to uhh… whistle.
Whistling is well, something I can't even get started on here, but let me tell you, it is a plague. Nothing better says to the world, "hey world, I am completely and utterly mindless" than whistling. I will take humming, murmuring to one's self, even nose picking over whistling. Never the less, this is how
GNR, the hardest, heaviest, wildest, etc, etc, have chosen to begin their song, so who am I to say that by god whistling sucks.
Anyway.
Axl's hair is super-straight, and he's wearing a bandana with a backwards-turned baseball cap over it. He must have a teeny-tiny head. If I was going to try a look like that, the baseball cap would have to be the size of a friggin' hubcab to fit over my giant head. Sorry, pointless. Anyway. He also has sunglasses tucked into the neck of his tee-shirt, which features some sort of large Japanese print on the front. Axl has rolled up the sleeves of his tee for a sporty look.
Axl sways around before fading out, while a view from behind the backs of the record producers comes into focus. The camera pans along behind them, and we see one turn to the other. We can see
Duff in the far background, the soundboards in front of them, and in the near foreground, a table covered in refuse dominated by food wrappers and beer and champagne bottles.
Izzy comes briefly into view, but we quickly cut to a producer's hand cranking up the volume on a dial labeled "Slash." Then we see
Slash, who basically is a cigarette poking out of a ginormous amount of hair. Don't worry though, we can also see his arms. He's playing an acoustic guitar with a mic hanging down in front of it.
Since there are no drums whatsoever in this song, we see
Steven Adler blowing out a long match having just lit a candle or incense or some such crap. Though based on the wider shots we know the
Gunners are technically in the studio, it looks like a
Pier One threw up in there. Oriental carpets, pointlessly fringed tapestries, candles, decorative bottles, and chintzy-looking brass abounds. You expect
Kirstie Alley or one of the
Queer Eye dudes to pop out of there at any moment (or, if you're sort of drunk, you’re thinking
the dude from the Counting Crows is way better looking than you remember).
We see
Duff, then a wide shot, before coming in tight on
Axl doing a slow version of the Axl dance with Duff's back in the foreground. A sliver of
Slash’s face makes an appearance before we get a headshot of Axl, who is
still whistling (it's been 40 seconds, but who's counting?).
Panning across the band shows off more of the crap they picked up at the
Pottery Barn, before ending on Axl. Now is a good time to mention that he's completed his look with a gigantic studded belt and black leggings that are patterned with white thingies (I can't tell what they are -- they look like very wide "x"s).
Suddenly, we're in an old-fashioned, wood-paneled hotel lobby. A woman in a black leather jacket sits in a white chair reading, and a clerk is visible at the desk behind her. Behind him there are all of those little mail hutches, like when they sort all of their mail or whatever for all of the different hotel rooms. Next we see a hallway in the hotel, with three people (a man in between two women) backlit and walking toward us. They quickly fade into a shot of hotel room. We're facing the unmade bed, which has a large upholstered headboard. The lights on the bedside tables are turned on, and though the room isn't a wreck or anything there is a lot of stuff left out. By the bed's foot one of Slash's guitars is on a stand, and his hat is hanging on it.
Axl finally begins singing. We watch him emote sincerely for a moment, then we see
Slash (shirtless, wearing black leather pants, black leather gloves, and many silver necklaces and bracelets) laying in the hotel bed and holding a
hugeass snake. We pull back, and see that on the other side of the bed, a woman dressed all in black lingerie leans over and peels off her shirt.
We then go back to the studio, where
Duff strums along in the foreground and further back
Slash holds his guitar all the way up in the air while he plays (he’s leaning back all weird like he is sunk in a papasan chair). A wider shot reveals all manner of knick knacks (specifically, weird candelabra/statuary and elaborate end tables) behind Axl.
As we head into the first chorus, a well-dressed couple (the man in a suit and the woman in a strapless black evening dress and gloves) walk toward us down the hotel hallway, arguing. They fade away as they get near us. Back with
GNR, all of the producers nod in approval and make adjustments on the boards.
Axl (who we all know is lost without a teleprompter) sings with his eyes on a sheet of paper he's holding to be sure he remembers all of the words. Lyrics remembered, he focuses on gyrating his hips while
Izzy and Duff strum valiantly along and Steven uh… stares at the floor.
Next we're in a hotel room identical to Slash's, only we're with
Duff, who's looking good in a white blazer and black everything else. He's smoking and sitting on the edge of the bed, and he stands up to grab a used room service tray (with a pot of coffee, a mostly-finished glass of o.j., and a bunch of crumpled-up napkins on it, if you were wondering).
Slash does one big strum, and Axl whispers "pay-shunse," then closes his eyes and tilts his head back while adjusting his package. Then Duff, still carrying the room service tray, passes a maid pushing a cart in the opposite direction. He's walking toward the camera down that same hallway we keep seeing. The maid fades away as she looks over her shoulder at Duff.
Axl begins the second verse sitting down, as is
Steven, who uses a big mesh, metal thing to snuff out one of his candles. Axl almost cracks a smile while looking over at Izzy during the line, "sometimes I get so tense." Interesting. Then we see Duff, who is now in the hotel's lobby. The woman reading is still there, and the clerk is tending to a couple who are both wearing their jackets. He turns toward Duff as the couple exits, but then both he and the woman reading fade away as Duff inexplicably deposits his room service tray at the front desk. Now I am not much of a traveler, but even I know that you can just kind of, you know, set it outside of your room's door.
The camera zooms in toward Duff as he turns toward us, taking a drag on his cigarette and putting one hand on his hip. He also shows off that he has a big chunk of dark hair going on under all the bleached stuff in this. I love two-toned hair. We all know I love it on the luscious
Mr. George Lynch, but this is more along the lines of
Jan/Lynn from
Vixen who had the like, raccoon tail thing going on under her hair. He appears to do a double-take at something to his right.
Axl stands up again for the chorus, and
Slash hoists his guitar likewise. We then see a different view of the hotel's lobby, which is grand and old-fashioned looking. A bellboy enters carrying two suitcases with a man in jeans following, and two other men are on their way out. A couple of model-looking women converse animatedly on one of the couches, and the camera goes in close to pan across them.
Steven Adler is sitting next to them, and he smiles bemusedly while scratching his head with a drumstick. He tilts his head back and looks at the ceiling.
Then we're back with
GNR. Izzy, who looks like he just stepped out of a
Black Crowes video (or
Brent Muscat's dressing room, though I suppose it's really
Brent who dresses like Izzy, and probably they're both really dressing like, I don't know,
David Johansen from the
New York Dolls), is sitting in front of a massive pile of Oriental rugs. It is like the longer the song goes on, the more tchotch fills the room. Somehow, even though there aren't any windows visible, it is getting darker in there. Suddenly Izzy is playing on a wooden bench, with a big vase or something next to him and screens next to him (I guess he went into another showroom, or the set of a
Bang Tango video).
Axl is again overcome with emotion as we head into the guitar solo.
Slash picks at his guitar, and Axl does a slow Axl dance with his eyes closed. Now, I am not the first to make this observation (it was actually
Mike Myers on a
Wayne's World special on MTV that coincided with the release of one of the
Wayne's World movies), but if this video shows one thing, it's that Slash might like hookers but he
loves snakes. I guess that's why his solo projects haven't been called Slash's Hooker Pit.
As a continuous shot of Slash playing with that
snake in bed unfurls, we see a succession of -- come on, everyone, count along -- 1 (blonde in black camisole and thigh-high stockings getting into bed), 2 (different blonde, corset-y thing and normal tights continuing motion of getting into bed), 3 (dark-haired girl with bangs in red sitting next to him), 4 (dark-haired, black miniskirt, bending over and flipping hair), 5 (curly brown hair, sitting down on bed), 6 (reddish hair, black stockings, lying down facing him) -- 6! Six rather professional looking ladies with Slash. The last one disappears, and we go in close again to look at Slash, who's still messing with that
snake.
Dancing Axl briefly reprises the whistling, then brings both hands together before bringing one finger to his mouth in a "ssh" gesture. The screen fades to black momentarily, then Slash kicks up again with the second (third, if you count the whistling) movement of the song. Dials are pushed as Axl looks thoughtful and brings his hands together, then holds them apart, palms up, feeling the music. He starts singing and doing some serious ass Axl dancing.
We then see Axl enter a room -- maybe another room in the hotel, but it is decorated in a much more modern way than Slash or Duff's rooms. There's a double bed with two framed photos over it, and French doors that are lit blue (they look like the screens that were behind Izzy before). On the nightstand, there's a large lamp and a
phone with blue neon in it that is ringing. Also in the near corner there's some other low piece of furniture, a chest or something, that has a black leather jacket embellished with big white bones (like a fake skeleton pattern, a la
Spinal Tap's
"This is exact, my exact inner structure done in a t-shirt, exactly medically accurate.") draped on it.
Anyway, Axl walks over to pick up the phone. He picks up the entire phone unit, then (after a brief look at
Steven and Izzy nodding along), he puts the phone to his ear, then looks at it, then throws the entire thing to the ground and repeatedly stomps on the phone (we see this close up). I remember when I was younger I always felt bad for the phone, because I totally wanted to have a phone like that.
Singing Axl smiles, and the whole band sings along for the "just a little pay-shuns / yeahhhh-ahhhhh" part. Axl swings a mic on a cord and catches it in his hand to start the badass coda of the song ("I been walkin' the streets at night" etc). He swings his butt around a lot, showing that he has a big scarf or something tied to his big belt. Slash tilts his head back enough that his face finally emerges from beneath his hair.
We then see Axl again in his hotel room (or whatever that room is). He's sitting in a little armchair with a lamp (like the one from the bedside table) and a white baseball cap on the table beside him. He leans forward, looking intently at his television. He's wearing a black tee-shirt with a red and yellow logo I don't recognize and blue jeans, as well as a lot of silver jewelry (most notably a couple of very large silver crosses). He is watching the video for "
Welcome to the Jungle."
He crosses his arms, then we see over his shoulder to the tv, where the Axl of 1987 dances around behind Slash. We then see a shot that I do not believe is actually in the video -- it's the part where they're all in that bedroom together, and this is of Axl sort of shaking on the bed. 1989 Axl then rests his chin in his fist, looking jaded. "
WTTJ" Axl leans on Slash and screams. Then we're back in the studio with Axl, who's really rocking out. Everyone sings along gamely, and Axl yowls like my cat demanding attention.
As the song wraps up, we again see the hotel hallway. The arguing couple is now walking away from us, and fading away from the moment we see them. The song ends with Slash hoisting his guitar and Axl sloooowly bringing the mic to his lips, as per the inevitable.
THE VERDICT My New Year's resolution? To devote more time to rockin', of course. And that means getting off my lazy (okay, in actuality, overworked and overextended) ass and start writing about more videos. The time has come! Maybe 2006 will be the year in which I actually begin to tackle the big
GNR trilogy (b/k/a "Don't Cry," "November Rain," and
"Estranged"). If nothing else, it is the year of the
Poison 20th anniversary tour, and that, my friend, is something to look forward to.
Anyway. I learned a lot while I was writing about this video. I learned that I am totally rusty at the moment. But I also learned that I have been getting a lot of the words to this song wrong for years, which is especially odd since this is one of the GNR songs with more intelligible lyrics. I've always heard it as "sad woman, take it slow," not "said, 'woman, take it slow.'" Same with "I ain't got time for the game" -- I've always heard it as pain. Hm. I pride myself on my excessive lyrical knowledge, so this is a bit perturbing to me to say the least.
In general though, I love this song. Aside from Axl's trademark, cat-like wailing, it's a not very Guns-sounding song, but that's okay. After
Appetite for Destruction, maybe we were ready for a taste of something different (if you'll pardon my pun). Sadly, however, I am not seeming to have a lot to say analysis-wise for this video.
GNR Lies is a weird album. It has always struck me as killing time, like something they released just to tide people over between stripped-down, hardcore
AFD and the over-the-top bombast of the
Use Your Illusion albums.
You could argue that "Patience" paved the way for all of the
Unplugged-ness to come, but seriously, people argue that about every acoustic metal song (and they're only right about "Wanted: Dead or Alive"). At least this one doesn't have a "the record company didn't want us to put this on the album, but we said we wouldn't put out the album without it, and it became our biggest hit" story (at least that I know of). (cough!)
"Save Your Love" (cough! cough!) "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" (cough!)
Ok, now I'm just being mean, and you know I heart the metal, so that's just silly. Besides, I should really be trying to figure out what's up with the video. Does the white jacket and bussing of trays mean that Duff works at the hotel? Are Axl and Izzy in a different place? Did Steven actually leave the band of his own will, because they make him do all the lame stuff in this video? Axl's playing himself, right? Does Slash put down the snake at least to well, you know? We'll probably never find out. If y'all remember the
pseudo-tabloid style cover of the album, it's all
Lies.
