Kix, "Blow My Fuse"

Hometown Heroes  

THE VIDEO Kix, "Blow My Fuse," Blow My Fuse, 1988, Atlantic 

SAMPLE LYRIC "Blow my fuse! / (Hey hey!) You got nothin' to lose / Blow my fuse! / I need a good shot, I can't give it to you" 

THE VERDICT Okay, I know I swore last week that I would stop mailing it in. But please, guys, you've got to cut me some slack. I know it's summer, but I'm actually busier than ever, and even though my normal M.O. is to write posts weeks in advance, at some point I caught up with myself, and now here we are. That said, I figured a not-quite-as-insanely-detailed-as-usual post was better than no post, so here's Kix. 

I've got to tell you — back when all I really knew of Kix was "Don't Close Your Eyes," I was like, they're fine but, eh. Now that I'm much more familiar with the entire Kix oeuvre, I've got to say, they are like the best bar band you've never heard. 

I mean yes, they sure do love to use sex metaphors that involve electricity and explosives, so much so that it's kind of weird. I mean if you really listen to this song, it's basically saying "short circuit me in bed." Is this a good idea? 

Sure, in the short term, I guess. But have Steve Whiteman et al. really thought through all these blown fuses? Then again, I guess they can just light a candle and like, go get a replacement at the hardware store, so. (Though what that would mean in terms of sexual metaphor, I'm not really sure.) 

ANYWAY. I bring up the bar band thing 'cause this video, even though it's from an album pretty far down the line in Kix's career, is more or less a testament to the band's longstanding local following and tireless gig-playing in and around Baltimore. I think the girl at the beginning holding the Maryland "KIX FAN" license plate pretty much sums it up. 

I mean, what do you think of when you think of Baltimore? The Wire. Syphilis. Kix. 

This video is split between two basic things going on. The more interesting footage, to my mind, is of Kix hanging out in and around Baltimore. Apparently they are mainly in a part of Baltimore known as "The Block" — apparently a stretch of East Baltimore Street that's mostly strip clubs and related stuff.

   

In any event, in this video we see a lot of stuff that's hard to identify (a diner and a peep palace, in particular), but we also see prominently the signs for several establishments, most notably the Midway Bar, but also the Two O' Clock Club (which has an adorably retro sign for a strip club), the subtly-named Club Pussy Cat,  and a couple others. 

In these montages, which all take place at night, we basically see the members of Kix hanging out in these different haunts, or in most cases, loitering outside them. They interact colorfully with the locals, who seem to consist of old men in various hats (knit cap, captain's hat), and then just a constant stream of moderately attractive women in high-waisted miniskirts and giant earrings. Hey, it was 1988. That's probably what I'd have been wearing had I had more say in my wardrobe back then. 

And speaking of wardrobes... ooh, they taunt me with visions of a "Blow My Fuse" t-shirt in this video. If you read this regularly, you know I collect vintage metal tees, and man, in all my searching I've never run across a Kix tee. I'd be so stoked to find one. 

I actually just got back from a trip (the zillionth reason I'm behind on blogging) where I got a 1992 Slaughter The Wild Life tee (inexpensive and not too exciting) and a 1985 Mötley Crüe Theatre of Pain tee (very expensive and very exciting). I can't even imagine finding a Kix shirt though. 

Actually, there's a bunch of Kix merch in this video. At one point, Steve has on sort of round John Lennon sunglasses that have the Kix logo on the lenses, and I think he may have a Kix backpatch on the back of the denim vest he's wearing. 

I should point out that, as always, Kix look amazing in this video. This is a band that has incredible style, and it seems to come so naturally— they all kind of go in different directions, from t-shirts to sheer blouses, and yet it all works. 

Oh wait, duh, I should mention — this is what like, the bulk of the video is like, it's Kix playing live. Based on the size of the venue and how unbelievably enthusiastic the crowd is, I'd guess they're in Baltimore and this was a fan club call-out type deal to recruit audience members. I mean these people are stoked to see Kix, and they don't look like they're just waiting for them to play "Don't Close Your Eyes." Trust me, if that's the only Kix song you know, you're missing out — and not just on all the weird electricity sex metaphors.

2020 UPDATE: I'm trying hard not to annotate these, but given how much I go on about it above — I had totally forgotten about that whole t-shirt digression I wrote there, but I now totally own a Kix "Blow My Fuse" t-shirt. It's not the one from the video, but it's similar. It's the most recently-added shirt in my collection (my vintage-shirt-energy has long since waned, though I still have my entire collection except for my Tesla tee which I am supermad I don't have anymore). I found it at a Goodwill in 2015 in NWOT condition. It didn't have a copyright date on it, and I was like... this has to be repro, right? But then I thought, "who the heck is making reproduction vintage Kix tees?" And indeed, upon further inspection of the fabric, tag, and printing, yeah — it's a legit vintage Kix tee. Glad I managed to make that (admittedly forgotten) dream come true! 

Kix, "Body Talk"

A Less-Dirty, Live-Action American Apparel Ad

THE VIDEO Kix, "Body Talk", Cool Kids, 1983, Atlantic

Click here to watch this video NOW!

SAMPLE LYRIC "They know that she talks, body talk / pictures I can see / she talks body talk / [body talk body talk]"

THE VERDICT Crab cakes and calisthenics baby, that's what Maryland does! Or so one would come to think from watching this Kix video, unparalleled in its sheer damn-is-that-girl-even-18-oh-no-wait-she's-30-no-omg-that-girl-is-15-max-ness. A group of gals outfitted in their best tights, legwarmers, leotards and high-waisted pants bust into a school gymnasium (which is possibly being decorated for a dance? There are streamers on the walls and at the very beginning, they surprise a girl who seems to be hanging balloons) and begin doing very basic sorts of stretches and aerobic moves. It's basically an indoor version of the gratuitous gym class scene from Private School.

Enter Kix, checking out the girls' butts and looking awesome. (Also no matter what allmusic claims, the band does not work out in this video. They're no Judas Priest.) In eyeliner, black jeans, a red-striped shirt, black vest, and ratty blonde hair the likes of which TV's Jenny Humphrey wishes she could pull off, Steve Whiteman looks the most like Robin Zander he'll ever look, which is saying a lot since he more or less always looks like Robin Zander.



Also deserving of mention is guitarist Brian Forsythe for a killer ensemble of ripped, skinny jeans, a Slade tee, and a patch-covered vest. Also meriting discussion is bassist Donnie Purnell who looks, well, like not the kind of guy you want hanging around your high school gym.

As for the song: Me, I love it. I know some folks don't though, because it's a bit new wave for a rock band (being someone who loves synth and new wave, this isn't a problem). But come on, who doesn't enjoy the occasional Frampton Comes Alive-esque talk box? Seriously people, don't let all this T-Pain autotune crap make you get it twisted -- vocal effects can still sound fresh and different. In this song, added with the random Eastern-inspired elements, it works.

Because everything about this song is random. If you want a song named "Body Talk" that lives up to its scintillating title, go listen to Ratt (actually regardless, let me make that recommendation. Ratt rules). But if you want a bunch of girls who look like Mary Anne Spier gussied up in eyeliner and a leotard, this is the video for you. Always felt like Kelly Kapowski was "too pretty" and thus wouldn't talk to you? Again, let me recommend this clip. There's even one gal rocking kind of a Freddie Mercury black-and-white look. This video's got it all.



It's hard to choose a favorite scene, but I am going to have to vote for the breakdown at the end ("talk, TALK, talk to me, body talk, talk") where they give up on shooting additional footage and just show still photos of the band (lit so their instruments look extra shiny -- ew that sounded bad) mixed with still photos of the aerobics girls posing for the camera. Not since Ratt's "I Want a Woman" have so many average-looking women been put on a pedestal in a heavy metal video. Gosh, I know I am trying to talk about Kix here but somehow I keep winding up focused on Ratt.

Long story short, this video rules. But also, between the awkwardness of the women, the voyeurism (e.g. the shots of one of the women primping before a mirror), and the extensive collection of layered, colorful lycra spandex on display, I can't believe this video isn't playing 24/7 in American Apparel stores. I mean really, how can they not know about this? Clearly they get their ideas for bringing back splatterpaint spandex from somewhere. Oh wait, that was from Enuff Z'nuff.

Kix, "Don't Close Your Eyes"

Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It!)

THE VIDEO Kix, "Don't Close Your Eyes," Blow My Fuse, 1988, Atlantic Records

Click here to watch this video NOW!

SAMPLE LYRIC "Don't close yourrr eyeeeeeeeeees / don't close yourrr eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eyyyyyyyyyes / don't sing yourrrr laaaaaaaaaaaaaast lull-a-byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION In the distance, cars go around a tall bluff beside the ocean, and in the foreground, there's lots of sand and scrubby beach plants (oh yeah, this is in black and white, p.s. btw). The camera pans left, showing more of the ocean, and as the synthesizer kicks in an image of hands playing a keyboard is superimposed above it. The camera continues left till we can't see as much ocean and are seeing scrubby dunes again, while a sort of "ocean wind" sound effect plays. The camera finally finds and focuses in on one especially crappy looking plants that's apart from the rest.

This fades into a black and white shot of a pretty blonde girl staring at something off-camera. In the background, the leaves of a tree outside the window have been colored in in a fluorescent reddish pink. We then see Kix, playing beneath spotlights set up on a pair of cherry pickers. Though it's black and white the spotlights are sort of highlighting them in this reddish pink color.

We only really get a look at Steve Whiteman before we're back with the girl, who's walking in front of a wall of windows. She's wearing a white button-down shirt tucked into very high-waisted, very shredded jeans. Many of the leaves of the tree outside are red, and her outfit has been shaded a bit red too. The camera goes in for a closer look at the leaves, then we fade into Steve again.

We then finally see the other member of Kix, who are all dressed it would seem as members of different bands. Steve is wearing all skintight black leather. Jimmy Chalfant is wearing a leather jacket over a Zildjian tee. Donnie Purnell is the only member still rocking the Cool Kids look, though I must also say his hair looks like someone threw it up onto his head.

Brian Forsythe is doing a passable Tom Keifer impression with mega-thick black locks, an blousy shirt worn open with a vest over it, and lots of jewelry. Ronnie Younkins is wearing a floppy velvet hat and sort of a dark-colored poet blouse plus a very large necklace (think Faster Pussycat circa 1990).



As the first chorus begins, we see a shot from beneath of something unidentifiable, then the girl looking wistful, with what appears to be a photo of another woman semi visible in the background. Then we're back with Kix, and every last one of them is doing a heck of a job. There's a dramatic pose for every power chord. I love it.

For the second verse, we fade into a shot of the girl lying down on a couch (there's a thoroughly unidentifiable triangular object in the foreground). We then see her from overhead, laying with her left hand across her stomach while looking at something we can't see clearly in her right hand. The camera pans across the room, past a tv that's on and what looks like a decorative ashtray till it comes to focus on a prescription bottle filled with pills (the pills have been colored in bright blue so you can't miss them).

She continues looking elegantly despondent on her couch while the various members of Kix continue artfully tossing about their hair and leaning against each other. It begins gently misting on them as Steve takes us into the bridge. We briefly see a shot of a person in boots stepping on that crappy looking plant from the beginning of the video, and the girl briefly clutches at her stomach in pain.

Jimmy runs a stick through those hangy windchime things, and Brian (or is it Ronnie?) heads into the solo. We see the image of hands playing a keyboard again, now with an image of a woman's finger dialing a phone superimposed over it (it dials 5-7-4, for those who like to watch closely). We then see the girl lying on her stomach, propping herself up with one arm to talk on the phone. There's a lamp on on a table by her heard, and a framed photograph of someone on the table also. The girl lets the phone drop, looking absolutely spent, and we see a bicycle running over that crappy beach plant as she throws the phone down and rests her head on the couch.

This causes everyone in Kix to go nuts, and we see again that weird image I couldn't identify before -- it's a door closing (it was hard to tell because it's from the point of view of being in a dark room with the light on the other side of the door, and also it's shot on an angle so it's not a very natural viewpoint). We then see the girl again, now lying on her back, being consumed by darkness.

This causes the members of Kix to frantically thrash about as never before, as if all that will save her is their hair moving as quickly as possible. Somehow, it works. The girl sits up, looking pretty bedraggled, and grabs the pill bottle off of the coffee table. She smashes it down, spilling the pills, and Steve continues his entreaties, strangling his mic with one hand while gesticulating wildly with the other.



The video closes with the keyboard hands (again), superimposed over an image of the crappy beach plant -- which is now in color and has little pink flowers on it -- and the girl (also now in color), standing next to it. She stares at it like she has never seen a plant before and does not know what it is. The plant is the last thing we see.

THE VERDICT It is tempting to make fun of Kix. Oh, so tempting. I mean, for one, they named themselves after a good-for-you children's cereal (p.s. be forewarned -- I couldn't find a legit link, and this one is crazy. Who knew that "the bible clearly states that the deliberate misspelling of any word in a breakfast cereal name is an affront to god and Christianity?" I'm no religious scholar, but I'm pretty sure that one's not in there).

Two, while totally crappy bands from Loudness to Loverboy (and uhh, much more of the alphabet) managed to get decent coverage in rags like Hit Parader, Kix were forced to run an ad near the back of the book urging readers to join their fan club.

Three, clearly somewhere between Midnite Dynamite and Blow My Fuse, they decided that they had hit upon the ultimate sexual metaphor when they chanced to write several tunes referencing explosives. And four, they're from Baltimore. Need I say more?

I need. Or rather, I do need. Because, you see, in spite of the many counts against them, Kix are just darn good. Yes, Steve's -- I can't even call it a falsetto really -- singing voice can be tiresome (and not just because it is impossible to sing along with). But give the guy a break -- he looks like an amazing cross between Robin Zander and David St. Hubbins, and his stage presence is awfully appealing.

Also, Kix dress like they shop at the Goodwill, which clearly I totally respect. I can't remember the last time I wanted to wear a denim vest this badly. Point is, Kix are decent, in spite of Maryland, the crap fan club, etc.

Which brings me around to the video. The whole black and white with painted on color thing, I must say, I am not a fan of. I am, however, a fan of the girl in the video, because her attire brings back so many memories. Sigh... the glory days of jeans with ten thousand carefully created holes in them.

But back to the not-a-fan part: The whole plot with the girl is fine, makes sense, and goes with the lyrics (which I think are great). But what is up with that shrub on the beach? How the hell does that plant's wellbeing impact hers? I mean, someone runs the thing over with a bike and she drops the phone? Does that mean that at the end, when she casts away her pills and we later see her and the plant revived, the scene that was edited out was of the plant being watered? Go figure. I had seen this video a jillion times, but somehow the subplot with the plant had escaped me until now. Thank goodness I am bringing it to light for you all (whoever the two of you are).

P.S.: Glorious, large, higher-res photos added to this post April 2010