THE VIDEO Warrant, "Heaven," Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich, 1989, Columbia
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SAMPLE LYRIC "Heaven isn't too far awa-a-ay (ahhh-ahhh) / Closer to it ev-er-y da-a-ay (ooh-ooh) / No matter what your friends might say-ay-ay / We'll find a way"
EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION This video opens with Jani Lane silhouetted in the shadows, only the white leather stars dangling from the fringe on his white leather jacket clearly visible as he strums his guitar. As Jani's face comes forward to take up the whole frame (the image that most people probably find the most memorable in this video), a viewfinder pops up.
We then go into the first of several Polaroid-style pictures of the band, beginning with guitarist Erik, who's looking out the window of the bus, just coolin' out in his shades, then back to Jani, who's wearing a very low-cut top and a seriously old school white boy do-rag.
Next we see the person taking the photos -- a very typical metal babe for this point in time (brunette, straight hair, easy to imagine dancing around in a vest and Blossom hat, or simply hanging out with Joey Lawrence for that matter). Anyway, it's ostensibly this woman we have to thank for this intimate portrait of Warrant. Next it's drummer Steven, pointing at the camera (with finger, not drumstick, shockingly), then we pull out to see the whole scene of what was happening in Jani's portrait (they're all walking down the street in very purple-y black and white).
We see Jani strumming his guitar again, this time with the New York City skyline visible in the background (which is kind of amazing, because no offense but it looks like the bulk of the footage in this video was filmed at a state fair in Iowa -- UPDATE: I wasn't too far off. Based on all the KXXR merch visible in this video, they're in the Minneapolis area).
And yes -- we've finally got a better view of the first of what is I believe three white leather outfits he'll rock in this video. This one's the one with the stars hanging off of the sleeves plus diamond-shape cutouts up and down the thighs. Hot. As Jani sings, "memories are great and man they're really comin' back," he remembers riding around on one of the other Warrant dude's back. Not that I'm casting aspersions on his masculinity or anything -- I mean jeez, he knocked up that chick from "Cherry Pie" after all.
Hey, there's bassist Jerry (who spends the rest of the video fighting Jani in a battle for doe-eyed, pouty supremacy), chewing gum in his shades (apparently this band does nothing on the bus), then lead guitarist Joey showing off a tattoo (I wish I could tell what it's a tattoo of -- spoiler alert: Prepare yourself for a great tattoo later in this video). As we gear up for the chorus, we get the first split screen of the video (yes!): Jani with guitar on the left, Warrant entering their hotel rooms on the bottom right, and frantic female Warrant fans on the upper right.
Whoa! As the chorus busts out, we first see the entire Warrant soundstage set in full force: lots of spinning lights and platforms, the band's name repeated several times in giant white letters, and of course, all the lads in their white leather suits. We quickly cut to the other performance footage used throughout the video, which is basically the opposite, except for the white suits (don't worry, they're still there): A Warrant concert, outdoors, mid-day, Jani sweaty and shirtless, and again, every Warrant fan in middle America out there givin' it all they've got. When Jani drops to his knees and stretches an arm out to the crowd, seriously, it looks like if these people had the room to do it, they'd do it too.
This dichotomous footage forms the meat of the rest of the video: The cleaner, whiter (suits, that is) on the dark fake stage, versus the sweatier, more warmly lit version (where the white suits include many black leather accents, including their names written on their forearms) on the real stage. But which stage will win? Well, let's see what each has going for it.
The fake stage is more dramatically lit. While Jani gets down on his knees and gestures theatrically, the lights sort of spin around, which is pretty impressive looking. Also, with this lighting we get the many, many close-up shots of Jani emoting, which is critical to the success of this song. I mean, it's pretty cheesy -- you have to be the kind of person who's gonna squeal, "Omigod, I want Jani to wrap his arms around me so he can feel me breathe" to be getting that into this. That's a tough level to reach for most, so Jani's doing everything he can.
Warrant also moves around a lot slower on this stage. Jani and Jerry spend time walking around together, and the photographer chick seems to be way more interested in taking pictures of them doing this stuff than playing live (I think she just doesn't want to get involved with that great unwashed crowd, but what can you do). Instead, she stands in front of a blue backdrop painted with clouds while holding a TV playing (what else?) more Warrant.
On the real stage, Jani has security guards there so he can ride around on their shoulders. Also, Warrant have that disgusting looking logo on their backdrop (you know, when you make your logo a revolting fat tycoon you really aren't doing yourselves any favors -- Warrant could have stood to take a lesson from Iron Maiden and Eddie).
Still though, we're with this stage when we get the key lyric, "I don't need to be a Superrrman / as long as you will always be my big-gest fa-a-a-a-an." That means we get to see (you guessed it!) Warrant's biggest fans! People who are going bonkers from meeting Jani Lane (whatever, shut up, I would be too); the boys signing Warrant t-shirts; babes who've customized their Warrant t-shirts to make them a bit racier (because the disembodied-female-legs-bending-over logo wasn't racy enough); and then, truly the piece de resistance -- a fan with a "Down Boys" tattoo. Advantage: Real stage.
Hell, it doesn't matter. Warrant bust out the split screen again so that we can see them get on their knees, indulging in some synchronized headbanging, on two screens at once. Wow. I can't even keep up with everything that goes on in this video. Suffice it to say that it's a super-lot of headbanging (okay, headswaying), hairshaking, and more white leather than anyone can handle. Ruffles, fringe, non-functional zippers, kneepads, lacing, appliqués, and elaborate codpieces are just some of the fripperies that accent these suits. Do they still own these things, or are they in some Hard Rock Café somewhere? It would just break my heart to see one of those things on eBay (especially if I didn't win it).
As the video winds up, Warrant redoubles their efforts. Excessive close-up footage of Jani is coupled with shots of him playing an acoustic guitar alone in a window and walking around by himself at night (message: he's so lonely -- he's alone again), and every band member begins to sing along with the song on the fake stage. Meanwhile on the real stage, our focus is on the fans, their outstretched arms-a-reachin.'
But whoa, back on the fake stage they're leaping off the risers, and sparks are raining down. It almost appears the fake stage has won -- synchronized moves in front of the whole spark shower thing have taken over both halves of the split screen. But then no, the real stage is still in it: A very sweaty Jani holds his microphone off to the crowd, then falls backward, presenting an especially vivid view of the lacing keeping it in his white leather pants.
But after all that back and forth, the video wraps up by going back to the real footage, including a shot of the entire band in towels and apparently caught right in the middle of brushing their teeth, which for some reason I find incredibly endearing -- possibly Jani should have been doing that the whole time, instead of just relying on his baby blues (or the wink and smile he leaves us with at the video's close, before we see Warrant walk off our screen).
THE VERDICT I could try to hate Warrant. But why? They've taken enough crap, and I mean jeez, it's not like they're Winger or something really terrible (Firehouse, anyone?). I have a whole lotta love for this video because it gave me one of the coolest and most memorable dreams I've ever had (gross, no! Not that kind of dream). Not at all.
A bunch of years ago, I dreamt I saw a Warrant: Behind the Music on VH1. It was so real, I thought I'd watched it for like, three days. But really, it turned out that my subconscious had just taken the "behind the scenes" footage from this video, what Jani Lane looks like now, and my extensive knowledge of Warrant, and turned it into like, a completely convincing hour-long program. You've got to sing along with "Heaven," just like you've got to smile when you hear "Down Boys" even if most of the lyrics make no sense whatsoever.
Sorry, anyway. Video. Focus. Okay. The way I see it, the video for "Heaven" is like Warrant's love letter to their fans. Warrant fans have certainly taken their share of hits through the years (e.g. less attractive female metal fans being known as "Warrant girls"), but whatever. Obviously, if they were willing to get "Down Boys" tattoos, these people were pretty intense, and Warrant wants to give some of that back. I generally find footage of fans in a video to be a nice touch (focusing in on a few people at different times rather than just having like, constant anonymous arms), and I always love footage of bands meeting fans (a chick going crazy because one of the Scorpions is signing her stomach? Priceless!).
Even the lyrics ("No matter what your friends might say / We'll find a way") seem to imply not just the possibility of a romance of outcasts but yes, an understanding of the forbidden nature of Warrant fandom. So yes. Even though they overdo the sincerity a little bit, you've got to love Warrant -- they're like the big, sloppy Lab-that-thinks-it's-a-lap-dog that you don't have the heart to shove off the sofa, even though they're sort of cutting off the circulation in your left leg and drooling all over your magazine.
P.S.: Lush, lovely, full-size pics added to this post 7/3/10.