THE VIDEO Poison, "Fallen Angel," Open Up and Say ...Aah!, 1988, Capitol Records
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SAMPLE LYRIC "Win big, mama's fallen angellllll / lose big, livin' her lies / wants it all, mama's fallen angel-ellllll / lost it all, rollin' the dice of her life"
EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION After her brother compliments their mother on her fine dinner that evening, Mama's Fallen Angel drops a bomb at the dinner table. "I've decided to move. To California. And I want to leave on Friday." Her parents seem alarmed at the suggestion, but it's a quiet, unspoken alarm. And sure enough, next we see her, Angel is hopping off a bus in Hollywood (apparently they were willing to give her a ride to the station).
Cue Poison! Yes, C.C.'s leaping through the air, Bret's spitting water (or something), Rikki's standing up and banging on the drums, and Bobby's facing the camera head-on making that I'm-trying-really-hard-(not-to-laugh?) face he uses in every video. Poison are also using the same set they use in every video. Fake stage, platforms a-plenty, and of course a big ol' neon green Poison logo right up front. Naturally, as the song progresses on, we cut in and out in a sort of Poison performance montage, creating the appearance of numerous clothing changes, sunglasses and hats that are constantly appearing and disappearing, and of course, a guitar Bret Michaels is mysteriously holding half the time. Poison pretty much keep on like this the whole time, so let's get back and see what Angel's up to.
There she is, her optimistic little face turned up to the "neon lights" already! Before we know it, she's in the office of a sleazebag modeling agent/producer/whatever-you-want-to-call-him. As he asks her to turn around and show him the total package and reaches out to touch her face, her revulsion is already apparent. He breaks the fourth wall to briefly give us a knowing look, and so even though Angel's still on the phone with her dad at this point, we pretty much know where this is going.
And here's where it's going. Before we've even seen her offering him anything (at least on camera), he's already buying her stuff -- a rather unconvincingly large diamond necklace and a satin-y bustier (a girl's other best friend?). Nevertheless, it wins her over, and we quickly go from a last look at Angel hugging her father goodbye to her in an extremely brief dress laughing and burying her face in Mr. Creepy's lapel while they leave a club together and climb into a limo. Wonder what goes on in there. Hmm.
Before we know it, Angel's got a career as a model of sorts -- at this point in time, it looks like she's modeling for one of those calendars that would be like, grease-encrusted and hanging on the back wall of an auto shop for years at a time (you know, the kind that like, Snap-On Tools used to give away). But if you think, hey, it was the 80s, who knows she could be modeling for like, Bongo Jeans or something (except she's not wearing any pants. Or much else).
However, even as the flashbulbs pop around her, we know we're heading toward the bridge and thus, toward Angel's inevitable fall (the one she'll actually notice, not the one us, her parents, and Poison have been clocking since the beginning of the song). When she takes her diamond necklace and bustier combo out to the same club where she first went with Mr. Creepy, what's that? Why, as Page Six might say, there he is canoodling with some other P.Y.T. Uh-oh. Angel tries standing beside the table, and when that doesn't work, throws her drink onto it.
C.C. tears into the solo, and we're back with Poison, who are going nuts as per usual at this time, with lots of hopping around and tossing of hair. As the solo ends, Angel busts out of the club, followed closely by Mr. Creepy. He runs over and appears to start yelling at her, and she just hauls off and kicks him in the balls. Girl power! As Angel stalks off into the Hollywood night, we're left to worry that she has enough money for a cab, or at least that the cops won't pick her up for soliciting (then again, it is the 80s).
Finally, she's managed to cover up and, in case we weren't sure what the message was, Angel walks by a sign that says, "there's no place like home." Has she found her happy ending? Is she getting back on the bus? Not exactly. A yellow checkered motorcycle reading "Hollywood Cab" pulls up driven by (who else?) Bret Michaels. As Angel hops on behind him, Bret breaks the fourth wall to raise his sunglasses and laugh. So if she's not safe, at least we know she's soon to get it on with Bret (and I guess we're supposed to be okay with that). As Bret and Angel pull away, there's that bus again -- but oh, it's another starry-eyed young girl just getting off the bus - another future notch in Bret Michaels' bedpost.
THE VERDICT As my significant other was quick to point out (if I may paraphrase for a moment), "Whoa, people thought Poison were immoral? That's like, the kind of lesson parents would want their kids to learn." True for the 'don't run away to Hollywood to become a lingerie model part', not so true for the 'winding up running away again with Bret Michaels' part. But yeah, the basic story is pretty not wild, even if its ending is ambiguous. After all, the don't run away message is strong, but if there's this well if you do run away, you'll wind up getting picked up by the lead singer of a very successful band message, and if you're a girl in 80s (or hell, now), which are you really going to listen to?
Still, even if it doesn't make the most sense, it is a fun, very 80s story. And as per the norm, the Poison performance footage is great. Even though Poison never seem to play in front of real people in their videos (at least not till their third album), they make the most of their soundstage. I always love bands where everyone sings along, whether there's a microphone there or not, and in nearly every shot of every band member in this video, they're singing. And in the midst of all this singing, Poison never, ever stop running or jumping either. I love it!