THE VIDEO Ozzy Osbourne, "The Ultimate Sin," The Ultimate Sin, 1986, Epic
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SAMPLE LYRICS "It was the ultim-uh-ate si-in / it was the ultimate si-i-in / it was the ultim-uh-ate si-in"
THE VERDICT I love how the opening of this video is like Dallas. Mansions, horses, Ozzy clapping in a black-and-yellow-sequined coat that looks like it belongs to Stryper... it's really a promising intro. Ozzy sitting at his J.R.-style desk, in a suit and matching cowboy hat and yet with extensive eyeliner and bedraggled, shoulder-length hair, trying to act ...yes, this video rules. As he picks up the phone and mimes dismay, he clearly says "Oh shit!" Love it. Honestly, all the videos from The Ultimate Sin have their This Is Spinal Tap moments, but the title track is more or less all Spinal Tap moments.
Ozzy picks up a giant remote to soothe himself with some TV, and look what's on! It's him in concert, wearing his big Stryper jacket. He's got on some kind of coordinating spandex bodysuit on underneath it -- the combination makes him look like a cross between Michael Sweet and the Undertaker. For some reason all the concert footage is shot from a low angle -- to make him look more imposing? Either way, Dallas Ozzy is tickled to see Stryper Ozzy on TV.
But then -- uh-oh! -- it's Julie, the girl from the "Shot in the Dark" video-slash-the album artwork. She's out in the concert audience transforming into the album cover lady again. How come Ozzy never transforms into the weird dog-lion-monster thing he's depicted as on the cover? I mean, the man is no stranger to album-art-inspired makeup -- just watch "Bark at the Moon." Must have been too expensive to turn him into the dog thing.
Anyway, next thing you know, she's appearing in his office, smiling in a weird way and wearing an outfit that wouldn't look entirely out of place on Sue Ellen (a red shirtdress thingy and an insanely large pearl choker). Next thing you know though, she's making the headache face again, which somehow provides a transition back to her being in the audience of the concert.
Stryper Ozzy's coat, now that I look at it more, is even more ridiculous than I first thought. It's got giant shoulder pads, the hem is cut into carwash strips, and the pattern makes him look like a giant sparkly road sign.
They barely show the concert though (or Jake E. Lee even! Good luck to anyone else in the band trying to get any screen time in this video). Before you know it, we're in Dallas Ozzy's boardroom, and he's frustrated by all the board members yelling at him about stuff. He doesn't take it too hard though, making faces and taking off one of his cowboy boots (showing off polka-dotted socks and making a secretary stick out her tongue in disgust).
Next thing you know though, Julie's standing at one end of the table staring at him. This time though, Dallas Ozzy reacts completely differently -- he looks happy to see her (see, this is why I don't work in an office anymore. Meetings suck so much you're even happy to see a scary demon lady). She smiles (looking slightly like Elaine from Seinfeld), making all the board members turn toward her. They all smile, and this for some reason makes Dallas Ozzy completely freak out. Did they give him any directions on the acting here? It feels so faked and yet, in its randomness, so real.
Dallas Ozzy leaves the table, and a combination of Julie making the headache face and Ozzy pulling down a screen takes us back to the concert. We finally see Jake E. Lee, who I have a great affinity for -- I know for Randy Rhoads partisans this is blasphemy, but Jake might be my favorite Ozzy guitarist. I really love Badlands too, and he's a key component in the funniest joke in Extract. I thought it was the funniest joke anyway. Gotta love Jake E.
Pretty soon we're back with Dallas Ozzy, who has left the building (which says "Ozzy Oil" on the side of it) and is racing to his car. He polishes the steer horn hood ornament, then spotting Julie standing behind a fountain, he runs to get in the car. She makes mean faces at him, and he rolls down the window to stare after her with an expression of... uhh... well kind of a blank expression really.
Dallas Ozzy is relieved, then extra pleased, to be in his car, and he pulls his giant remote out of his suit jacket to watch more of his concert in the car. In a meta-Ozzy moment, Dallas Ozzy rocks out to Stryper Ozzy, then we transition to the concert. The low angles, wide stage, and lack of clear shots of anyone besides Ozzy imply to me this concert is real rather than staged (then again though, I suppose I should have learned my lesson with "Estranged"). And besides, next thing you know, there's Julie in the audience. We also get a random blue texture that's technically a bit of foreshadowing.
That turns into a shot of Julie in the audience on a little TV that Dallas Ozzy has dragged out by the pool -- ooh, like Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan! Love that movie. Dallas Ozzy stretches out in his bathrobe, but next thing you know, Julie is standing in his yard (possibly shivering, or maybe it's just really windy -- the more I see it, I think the latter).
Dallas Ozzy looks excited, then grabs his TV (dramatized by a shot from the TV's point of view) and throws it into the swimming pool. This would seem more badass if the thing appeared to have a cord attached, let alone be plugged in. Julie keeps making the headache face, then Ozzy strips off his road and swings it around before throwing it behind him. He's still, let us note, wearing his polka dot socks. She's still got on the billowy red shirt dress and black pumps.
Dallas Ozzy chases her onto the diving board (okay, she doesn't really run, just backs up). Nonetheless, Julie appears surprised as he pushes her in backward. We get a sort of crackly effect over the screen that I think is meant to imply cordless TV + pool = electrocution. The video ends with Stryper Ozzy waving his arms, then Dallas Ozzy saluting, then my favorite shot -- a horse rolling on its back! Gotta love horses.
Anyway, that was a lot of video description -- I've almost done my old post format here -- so here's the real verdict. In the introductory sociology class I'm a teaching assistant for right now, our textbook uses pictures of Ozzy to illustrate the concept of front stage and back stage behavior (which is relatively self-explanatory thanks to the relatively descriptive terms Erving Goffman, an eminently readable social theorist, used to describe it). The gist is that people manage their behavior in different ways depending on whether they see themselves as having to perform a given persona for others (e.g., how you interact with customers = front stage, how you interact with coworkers of the same rank as you = back stage).
They picked a promo photo of Ozzy that looks like it's circa this period based on his makeup, hair, and dress, and paired it with a photo of him in the kitchen with Sharon from The Osbournes. They really should have stuck to the same time period and showed him in the kitchen in The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years.
More to the point though, I don't actually think Kitchen Ozzy versus Scary Ozzy is actually that great an example of front and backstage behavior, because let's face it -- Ozzy puts it all out in the front. He's not that scary, certainly not in this video -- even though we see Stryper Ozzy and Dallas Ozzy, neither one is Scary Ozzy. In fact, both appear to be versions of Silly Ozzy (though the concert footage is less silly here than in other videos from this album, although again, there's less of it and we mostly have to watch it on tiny 80s TVs).
Much like Alice Cooper before him and many others after, Ozzy's both at once -- sure, even if Scary Ozzy is electrocuting a woman in his swimming pool, the fact that he's doing it in boxer shorts and polka dotted socks = Silly Ozzy. Similarly in concert, who's really going to take him seriously in that ridiculous Stryper coat? Oh wait... duh, Stryper.