THE VIDEO W.A.S.P. "Wild Child," The Last Command, 1985, Capitol
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SAMPLE LYRIC "I'm a wild child / come an' lovvve me / I want you-ouuuuuuu / my heart's in exxxile / I need you to touch me / 'cause I want what you do / I want you"
EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION This video opens with a shot of the sun over umm, well, I don't know where but since I know "Blind in Texas" was filmed in Arizona we're going to guess that they were economizing and this was too. So yes, Arizona. The shot fades into Blackie Lawless, he of the most badass pseudonym ever, who is riding his chopper down some desolate road. I'd call it a highway but who am I kidding, it's two lanes wide. Anyway. He's very far away, but I still know it's him.
We cut to a quite voluptuous lady (think Delta Burke in the first season Designing Women -- then never think of the fact that I just used that as an example ever, ever again) standing on top of what for lack of better knowledge of desert geography I will call some Wile E. Coyote-lookin' rocks. She's wearing a red, filmy, carwash-strip jumpsuit (I'd call it a belted dress but it looks like it has legs) and holding some kind of tall staff with erm, feathers attached to it. Legs firmly planted and hand on hip, her expression says, "Come 'n' get me, Blackie. Good luck tying me to your stage set."
We then see him close up, sunglasses on, sans makeup and sawblades (and missing the gray highlights, come to think -- were those things clip on? Oh.my.god. Okay, must resist digression on fake hair. But let's just say I'm obsessed). Then we cut back to the lady again. But oh! She fades away into the rocks. Then we see Blackie from the side, and he drives off the screen as the song finally starts.
Now I only noticed this once I'd slowed it down to the frame-by-frame level, but in that first shot you can see his motorcycle parked next to their little uh, stage. In this video, the whole point is that W.A.S.P. are standing up on some serious Wile E. Coyote rocks -- I had always assumed they were quite far off the ground -- but this one shot shows that they are, in reality, at most ten feet off the ground. Actually, I just looked again. Make that five.
So yes, just to quickly describe the set -- W.A.S.P. are playing on top of a little mesa, or butte, or something, that's in front of a much larger wall of desert stone. One could say their only decoration is their metal "WASP" sign behind drummer Steve Riley, but then one would be ignoring the amount of costumery they're wearing, which is (as per always) near KISS levels.
We first get a good look at Mr. Lawless, who since parking his chopper has changed into quite the ensemble, plus added the aforementioned highlights and his spooky makeup (lotsa eyeliner, red lipstick). His bass looks sorta like an axe, black with a beveled silver edge. Next we go to guitarist Randy Piper -- no, not Rowdy Roddy Piper, this is Randy Piper. His guitar is also sort of x-shaped, and has a sort of 3D scary horned skull face (like Mr. Scary, only just a face). While his outfit is nowhere near as badass as the chainlink garter belts he sports in "I Wanna Be Somebody," Randy gets many extra points for the hand-to-hair pout for the camera. Paul Stanley would be proud.
Then we get a lot more Blackie, making dramatic gestures (rubbing face, "jazz hands") and running around a little in a camera-swinging-around shot that makes it look like the rocks they're on are really high up (they do a lot of filming them from below which also makes them look like they're on a ledge -- if they had just cut that one shot where you can see the damn motorcycle, the illusion would be complete). Next, however, comes another one of my all-time favorite moments in heavy metal videos (two in a row, following close on the heels of my last entry!). This would be when Blackie, Randy, and Chris Holmes all run to the front and a bunch of flashpots explode just as chorus begins. This is so badass!
Of course, Blackie starts really doing his dance, which is a sort of variation on the Axl dance -- instead of moving your hips, however, the Blackie dance involves moving your legs in a frantic jig. It's also the first time where you can really see what Blackie's got on down below -- moccasin-style fringed boots and tights (yes, tights -- they're sheer) with black, red, and tan long feathers down the sides (he's also got some in his hair). Whoa. Top that off with a black top that's been slit open in about a gajillion places (and ornamented at the cuffs with his famous circular saw blades) and you're all set. During the first big "I want youuu-ooooh" Randy points at the camera and touches his hair again (so very Paul Stanley, again), also proving that when you have two guitarists (or when you're just shakin' it for the camera), you're a lot more free to take your hands off your instrument.
Next we see guitarist Chris Holmes, who in this video (and most of their others) looks like Ozzy Osbourne but who in his infamous scene inThe Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years (P.S.: I don't care for this review at all, but it's worth it for the movie quotes) looks like Chris Jericho. So yes, for better or for worse I am saying that this guys looks a lot better tanked and floating around in his mother's pool in leather pants than he does here.
Anyway, to try to avoid getting into a lengthy digression about the coolest movie ever made, I'll just say that he's wearing eyeliner and a black and red leathery costume that reminds me of what the Road Warriors used to wear. And I'm not just saying that as an excuse to make another wrestling reference! His guitar is the least theatrical of the three. It's the four-prong pointy shape that I'm sure there's a name for (the shape Metallica always use) in black with a red and yellow picture of some feathered wings on it.
Next we see the drummer, Steve Riley, and even though for the most part I'd say Blackie was constantly kicking people out of W.A.S.P. as an ego trip, in this case he was definitely justified. He taps away at the drums like a diligent typist and has amazing posture, which when you're trying to be like the most super badass band around are just not compliments.
Anyway, the video progesses. Randy keeps trying to be foxy, Blackie keeps trying to be scary, Chris, most likely, keeps trying not to fall of the rock. As the chorus wraps up, we see the road again, and that lady from the beginning is standing in the middle of it. Blackie drives down the road with his hair pulled back (and headlight on for safety) looking not unlike Mick Mars in his non-all-dolled-up guise. As the second verse of the song starts, the mystery lady disappears in a flash of well, flash. Like the scene transitions in the old Justice League cartoons.
The whole next verse features again, more of the same performance footage, then ends with another totally amazing moment (why they didn't bring in the flashpots again, we'll never know) as Randy, Blackie, and Chris jump off the rock. Not to belabor a point I've made a million times already, but this was a lot more badass when I didn't know they were just kind of hopping off of a little ledge. Then we have more Blackie dancing and Chris waving his guitar over his head (which I love). Randy even does the thing where he rubs his hair again, just to tie it all together.
As we go into the bridge, we're back on the road with Blackie. The sun goes down suddenly, and we see a weird umm... I'm going to venture a guess based on what I know about W.A.S.P. and call this a sacrificial altar-type place (perhaps an "Altar of Sacrifice"?). It's basically a bunch of sticks and stuff poked into the ground with skulls and stuff tied to them and a couple of little fires burning on the ground nearby. Blackie (hair once again resplendent) drives up for a closer look. He has a really weird expression on his face, like maybe his mouth is full of water or he's trying not to burp out loud. We then see the moon, then some close-ups of the skulls and masks and stuff tied to the poles.
That lady walks out again, and we see Blackie (maybe he's trying not to laugh?) again too. She walks into the middle of all the stuff, crosses her arms, then forcefully uncrosses them, causing some little fires to light up on the ground. Then she disappears in a puff of flames. Blackie screams, and his face as he closes his mouth again is, I'm afraid to say, unmistakably that of one trying to hold in laughter. He leans forward and drives his bike through all the stuff, causing it all to really light on fire.
We watch it all burn for a minute, then we're back with W.A.S.P. on their rock, and the flashpots do finally go off again, but now it's night so it's harder to see, making it a bit less badass. This also causes the frame around their sign to light on fire, as per usual. The band dances around in front of it, and they seem like they're really rocking out but it's kind of hard to tell cause it's really dark. The camera pans across the burning sign, then we go back to the weird burning stuff. The video closes with Blackie making a face and pointing at us, superimposed over the burning altar.
THE VERDICT Okay, I tried to make this one shorter, and it didn't work. Probably because holy crap this video is awesome! A lot of people think W.A.S.P. are terrible, or all flash, but I think they friggin' rock, and I don't care if I'm alone on it. The widespread fury it caused Tipper Gore to unleash on the world aside, "Animal (!@#$ Like a Beast)" is one of the best pop metal songs ever. If he could have just managed not to scream "I !@#$ like a beast!" when all of the music cut out, this song would have been huge. Huger than huge.
But yeah, what with all the sawblades and women chained to things and entrails purportedly thrown into (or tossed from) the crowd, it's easy to see why people dismissed their music pretty easily while taking the act waaaay too seriously. I'm not sure where I fall in this. I appreciate the stage show, but in kind of a campy way, or at least in a "sure, that's what we're getting at" way -- like how Slayer always kind of make light of their satanic image (i.e. "yeah, sure, our name means Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot") but at the same time their songs are, you know, a little bit on the umm dark side.
It's hard to tell how seriously W.A.S.P. actually take themselves. Part of it is probably that Blackie Lawless isn't as vocal or well-known as for example someone like Dee Snider, who's always the first to say look, it's just rock and roll, we're just having a good time. Lawless took a lot of flack back in the day for being the only one who tried to stay true the game (and admittedly, someone who wears gray highlights and saw blade wristicuffs is taking it all pretty damn seriously) and refused to come and testify and be like it's not a problem, you're just not getting the joke.
And yeah, in a video as over the top as this (I've often thought that every movie sequence where they're ostensibly shooting a heavy metal video was based on the look of this video), it's hard to tell if we're in on the joke, or if it's simply not a joke. Maybe part of it is seeing it now? Even still, as seriously as I want to take it, it's hard to believe that Blackie's really like "Oooh, I look super scary" every time he's making one of those faces, unless the only person he's trying to scare is, you know, Tipper.