Winger, "Can't Get Enuff"

Why Yes, Those Are Bugle Boy Jeans He's Wearing
THE VIDEO Winger, "Can't Get Enuff," In the Heart of the Young, 1990, Atlantic

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SAMPLE LYRIC "I can't get enuff of you baby / I can't get enuff, it's neverrr enu-uuh-uhhh-uffff / I can't get enuff, I'm still hunnngrrraaayy / so baby give it up, cuz I can't get enuff!"

THE VERDICT The high here today was supposed to be in the mid 60s, but instead its in the 80s. Burning sun, dripping sweat, exposed skin ... ew pervs, I'm not describing my life, I'm talking about this Winger video!

Winger is a band I'm constantly on the fence about, and "Can't Get Enuff" is one of the songs that I place on the "Cons" side of the ledger. It does little to disabuse one of the notion of Kip Winger as more than vaguely sleazy, and their songs as overproduced. I know, I know, musicianship, training, blablabla, but can't you feel like if they're really that talented they'd be able to get away from making songs like this?

That said, this isn't their worst song (to my mind, that's actually "Seventeen"), it's just far from their best. Though it does have some elements I like (especially the "Hey hey!"), it has many bits that are pure cheese (whatever those weird chimes are toward the beginning, the parts of the chorus where it sounds like they've slowed Kip's voice down a half-step, the actual lyrical content).



And what is it with metal bands and spelling "ough" as "uff"? I have an amazing Winger t-shirt from their tour for the first album, and on the back it announces them "Too Tuff To Tame" (this shirt is so awesome no one's even selling one like it on eBay so I can show you a picture -- but suffice to say I have the one with pictures of the band members on it, not the tour dates one). But it's not just Winger -- you've got Enuff Z'nuff (lord knows I always harp on them), Tuff, etc. I guess it fits in with having egregious double letters in your name, which lord knows metal bands like too (e.g. Ratt, Rough Cutt, etc).

Back to the video! Okay not back, because I've barely talked about it. To the video! This video is basically an incredible time capsule of everything white people thought was sexy in 1990. We've got shirtless guys in mirrored sunglasses and mullets, women in halter tops and high-waisted bottoms, and motorcycles. Look at any man in this video, and you can be pretty damn sure those are Bugle Boy jeans he's wearing. Look at any woman in this video, and you can't be sure whether that's meant to be a shirt or a bra. And we've got all these seduction scenarios going on that are straight out of a made-for-Cinemax-after-10-pm masterpiece -- people eating fruit, in a boxing gym, playing pool, etc. while constantly throwing the bone eye at each other.



I also like how nothing in this has continuity or makes sense -- kind of reminds me of a perfume ad, but I think this would be an ad for Designer Imposters. Why do those guys have surfboards when everything in this video leads us to believe we're in the desert? If that woman is sweating so darn hard, why is she wearing a leather jacket with her bra/top? Also what is up with exhaust fans in like every video ever in the late 80s/ early 90s? Seriously, from Tesla to Milli Vanilli, y'all.

Compared to other Winger videos, this is almost all Kip Winger. The rest of the boys are barely visible, as we're too busy with close-ups of Kip's face, or of him walking around putting the smallest amount of effort possible into pretending to play his bass (e.g., using only his right hand). He also gets to show off a lot of that ballet training, with a number of honestly quite graceful spins and swoops, as well as the requisite arching his back absurdly far. He even puts in some David Lee Roth-esque high kicks. I bet he's good at yoga. All the swinging and flashing lights don't make it any easier to tell what the heck is going on -- backlit, everyone in Winger is the same curly-haired dude.



You'd think the strobe-lit woman crawling on a pool table would be the pinnacle of cheese in this video -- we can't even see Reb Beach's guitar solo, because we're too busy getting something that looks like a cross between "Enter Sandman" and a Slaughter video. Is the strobe light meant to imply this is a fantasy sequence? This entire video is made up of fantasy sequences!!

But if you're thinking this, you obviously haven't made it up to the "sexy photo booth" scene. That one really takes the cake, as the guy has to mimic emotions from "disbelief" to "flustered arousal" while the woman makes exactly one face ("sexy pouting") throughout. Also, if it's that darn hot, why on earth is she wearing stockings? Ugh, just contemplating all that thigh sweat is grossing me out.

I don't know if it's warm enough here for me to want to tackle my boyfriend on top of a bunch of grapes (are those people vintners? Why on earth would anyone buy that many grapes at once?), but suffice to say it was warm enough for me to think of Winger. And while I often feel I can get enuff of this song, I will say the video has brought considerable amusement to my afternoon.

Kix, "Body Talk"

A Less-Dirty, Live-Action American Apparel Ad

THE VIDEO Kix, "Body Talk", Cool Kids, 1983, Atlantic

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SAMPLE LYRIC "They know that she talks, body talk / pictures I can see / she talks body talk / [body talk body talk]"

THE VERDICT Crab cakes and calisthenics baby, that's what Maryland does! Or so one would come to think from watching this Kix video, unparalleled in its sheer damn-is-that-girl-even-18-oh-no-wait-she's-30-no-omg-that-girl-is-15-max-ness. A group of gals outfitted in their best tights, legwarmers, leotards and high-waisted pants bust into a school gymnasium (which is possibly being decorated for a dance? There are streamers on the walls and at the very beginning, they surprise a girl who seems to be hanging balloons) and begin doing very basic sorts of stretches and aerobic moves. It's basically an indoor version of the gratuitous gym class scene from Private School.

Enter Kix, checking out the girls' butts and looking awesome. (Also no matter what allmusic claims, the band does not work out in this video. They're no Judas Priest.) In eyeliner, black jeans, a red-striped shirt, black vest, and ratty blonde hair the likes of which TV's Jenny Humphrey wishes she could pull off, Steve Whiteman looks the most like Robin Zander he'll ever look, which is saying a lot since he more or less always looks like Robin Zander.



Also deserving of mention is guitarist Brian Forsythe for a killer ensemble of ripped, skinny jeans, a Slade tee, and a patch-covered vest. Also meriting discussion is bassist Donnie Purnell who looks, well, like not the kind of guy you want hanging around your high school gym.

As for the song: Me, I love it. I know some folks don't though, because it's a bit new wave for a rock band (being someone who loves synth and new wave, this isn't a problem). But come on, who doesn't enjoy the occasional Frampton Comes Alive-esque talk box? Seriously people, don't let all this T-Pain autotune crap make you get it twisted -- vocal effects can still sound fresh and different. In this song, added with the random Eastern-inspired elements, it works.

Because everything about this song is random. If you want a song named "Body Talk" that lives up to its scintillating title, go listen to Ratt (actually regardless, let me make that recommendation. Ratt rules). But if you want a bunch of girls who look like Mary Anne Spier gussied up in eyeliner and a leotard, this is the video for you. Always felt like Kelly Kapowski was "too pretty" and thus wouldn't talk to you? Again, let me recommend this clip. There's even one gal rocking kind of a Freddie Mercury black-and-white look. This video's got it all.



It's hard to choose a favorite scene, but I am going to have to vote for the breakdown at the end ("talk, TALK, talk to me, body talk, talk") where they give up on shooting additional footage and just show still photos of the band (lit so their instruments look extra shiny -- ew that sounded bad) mixed with still photos of the aerobics girls posing for the camera. Not since Ratt's "I Want a Woman" have so many average-looking women been put on a pedestal in a heavy metal video. Gosh, I know I am trying to talk about Kix here but somehow I keep winding up focused on Ratt.

Long story short, this video rules. But also, between the awkwardness of the women, the voyeurism (e.g. the shots of one of the women primping before a mirror), and the extensive collection of layered, colorful lycra spandex on display, I can't believe this video isn't playing 24/7 in American Apparel stores. I mean really, how can they not know about this? Clearly they get their ideas for bringing back splatterpaint spandex from somewhere. Oh wait, that was from Enuff Z'nuff.

LA Guns, "Never Enough"

The Tracii Guns-Kurt Cobain Connection

THE VIDEO LA Guns, "Never Enough," Cocked and Loaded, 1989, Polydor

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SAMPLE LYRIC "(aaaahhhhhh) It's never enough just to hold you / (aaaaaaaahhhhhh) It's never enough just to please you / (aaaaahhhh-aaaaaahhhhhhhh) ooh baby, it's never enough"

THE VERDICT A couple of years before Nirvana shot more or less the same video plus retro costumes, the LA Guns made a video that shows off one of their many talents -- making great, straight-ahead pop. Yes, the LA Guns can rock your ass off -- I mean, just listen to "Bitch is Back" or "Sex Action." But Phil Lewis and co. also made some terrific pop songs, and this, like "I Wanna Be Your Man," is definitely one of them.

In spite of the fact that we see Ed Sullivan show parodies long before this -- think Spinal Tap's "Gimme Some Money" -- I'm going to argue that the LA Guns ushered in a new era here. Though parody videos came before this one (notably "Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody"), "Never Enough" is different in that it isn't really trying to be funny. It's more of an homage than a parody. Given that the LA Guns are certainly no Beatles, it's a bit of a stretch. But if we think of them as like a much less successful version of the Dave Clark Five, maybe we've got something.



In spite of feeling relatively straightforward, this video comes off a bit tongue-in-cheek -- the LA Guns never achieved the level of stardom they pantomime here. But also, in their hammy stage antics (particularly Tracii Guns' exuberant guitar solo), they seem to be giving us a knowing wink. Or to be devolving into self-parody. But no, I mean the LA Guns' various members kicked around the LA scene and did enough time in enough bands that I think they were probably pretty self-aware by the time they made this video. I mean they come off here a lot better than say the members of London (a similarly long-lived band with likewise a roster of went-on-to-be-famous former members) do in Decline II.

I talk about the clothes a lot, but this is a video-oriented blog, hence an emphasis on the visual. And let's face it, with the exception of Steve Riley (who I have heard admit as much himself!), LA Guns are a great-looking band with overall just a great look. Yes, it's harder to tell them apart than the members of say Faster Pussycat, who share their late 80s/early 90s LA style, but that kind of makes them cooler. Lots of dyed black hair, black leather pants, and polka dots a la Theatre of Pain-era Nikki Sixx. And you know I love that.

P.S.: This is by a considerable amount the shortest post I've ever written, so why is it so damn popular? Oh wait... gulp... is that why it's so damn popular?

Bon Jovi, "Living in Sin"

Parents Just Don't Understand

THE VIDEO Bon Jovi, "Living in Sin," New Jersey, Mercury, 1988

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SAMPLE LYRIC "Baby can you tell me, just WHERE we fi-it in / I call it love, they call it living in sin / is it you and me or just this WORLD we li-ive in / we're living on love, or are we livin' in sin"

THE VERDICT I have to give this song the award for the greatest ode to premarital sex (sorry, Winger). So what if the allmusic review claims that Bon Jovi's "trying to recreate Born to Run using cheaper materials." I don't know man but for me, this song puts JBJ dangerously close to Springsteen territory. Let's face it: No matter how I really feel about the state, if there's one thing I love, it's a good story-song about doomed lovers from New Jersey. The Boss is king in those parts -- I mean, "The River," "Atlantic City," etc. -- but Bon Jovi's no slouch.

And "Living in Sin" is the best of his story-songs -- though all the details about squabbling parents and Catholicism don't do it for me, his voice is so choked with emotion at the song's opening that it brings a lump into my throat nearly every time. And the video -- oh, the video. It's a total sobfest!



To review: This is the video MTV originally banned back in the day because it was too racy, though I'd argue they actually banned it for a couple of reasons. One, it contains a lot of Catholic imagery, and this was just a little before the whole "Like a Prayer" controversy. If the church didn't enjoy Madonna burning crosses and getting stigmata, I don't think they were going to exactly embrace Bon Jovi showing a vaguely sexy communion and crossing himself repeatedly while singing about the hypocrisy of religion and the idea that love is more important than the legality of one's relationship.

Two, the video is actually not that racy -- lots of clenched hands and unidentifiable swaths of bare skin (between the long hair and the lights being out, there are a lot of shots where it's not clear who we're looking at). This is particularly true of the shorter version, which omits the one brief peek of silhouetted side-boob (see below for an overly-long discussion of the different versions.) Call me crazy, but I think the bigger problem is that it shows sexuality in a positive, loving way -- this is no "Girls, Girls, Girls," which shows way more skin even in the censored version they show on TV. It also has way less nudity than Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," which has a very similar overall look and feel. Compared to both of those, too, the shots in this video are too quick to really figure out what's going on; you kind of just get a sense of what you're seeing. Which at least for some of us is, admittedly, probably more titillating than the brazen sexuality of say, Motley Crue's love letter to the ladies of the Body Shop.



Instead of Sunset Strip strippers or Helena Christensen, we get a couple of people who actually look young (particularly the girl -- the guy looks vaguely like the friend who dies in "18 and Life"), and who for metal videos are strikingly good actors! They're adorable together, and he's so affectionate with her, it just ... oh no, here it goes. I'm getting teary. It was going to happen at some point, so let's just let it come. Anyway, they're a pretty realistic couple in the sense of they look like people you could've met in New Jersey circa 1988. I feel like this as well was likely part of MTV's problem with the video -- these folks look underage.

There's also an interesting class aspect in here -- while in most Bon Jovi songs, its implied both lovers are working class (think his other big "Living" song, i.e. "On a Prayer"), this video makes it appear that the boy is working class while the girl is middle class. Her family dresses neatly and eats dinner around the table, his keeps a junker car in the front yard and eats in front of the TV. So the video adds the implication of disapproval of downward mobility to the whole no-sex-before-marriage thing (in other words, it's not just the sex her parents disapprove of, though we can assume they disapprove of that too).



But they're in looove! I mean just look at these two, on the beach, in the car, at a motel... can't anybody take the "if you're going to do this, let's do it at home and be safe" approach? I can't stand the thought that this couple isn't going to make it!

If you see the full version of this video, it includes bits before and after the song ends that give a bit more context (it also includes more explicit sexuality than the shorter version, which is also considerably tamer). Both show the girl having dinner with her parents, and standing up to look out some large windows (or maybe French doors?) out to the street. The beginning includes a voiceover (we assume from the boy) saying, "There's always something that we have to do for them, but this is one thing that we have to do for us."



In the longer ending, we see the girl looking out the window again, and the boy's car driving by. We then see the girl running out to the boy's car. Some folks claim this means she's decided to run away with him. However -- since a) she's wearing different clothes and b) we also see this shot of her running to the car in the beginning of the video (when they're leaving for the motel?) -- I've always taken this to be a memory. In other words, she's looking for his car, but it's not there anymore. Noooooo!

Then again... there's also the shot of them being discovered in bed at the beginning of the video, which is obviously foreshadowing and repeats again at the end. So maybe... hmm. Maybe the whole intro is foreshadowing her leaving with him at the end. But doesn't she need more than that tiny backpack? I mean that'll barely hold her Aqua Net, let alone her enormous supply of giant hoop earrings! Nonetheless, I think further study is required to solidify my interpretation of this video. Are they truly star-crossed, or is this "Tommy and Gina: The Early Years"?

P.S.: Yes, I got the idea for this title from Parks and Recreation.

Anthrax, "I'm the Man"

Nice Jewish Boys from New York Who Aren't Beastie

THE VIDEO Anthrax, “I’m the Man,” I’m the Man, 1987, Island/Megaforce

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SAMPLE LYRIC "I'm on your case / I'm in your face / kick you and your father back in place / step up sucker, understand / don't you know that / I'M THE MAN!!" (repeat as quickly as possible; use funny accent for "I'm the man")

EXCESSIVELY DETAILED DESCRIPTION The intensely hot Frank Bello grabs a mic (and grabs his head) and yells. Lovin’ it. A homemade Anthrax tribute on a stonewashed jean jacket. Also love. Anthrax fans yell “Not!” Charlie Benante bangs away. Another jacket Anthrax tribute (this one with the “Not” man). Dan Spitz busts into “Hava Nagilah” on the guitar, and Scott Ian jumps onstage in skater shorts, a Public Enemy t-shirt, and a fishing hat. Can it get any better?

Yes it can. This woman has the Anthrax logo tattooed above her right breast. Now I feel like I’m not even a fan! Charlie steps out from behind the drum kit (Joey Belladonna having temporarily taken over the sticks). An Anthrax fan goes nuts, and the creepy dude on the cover of Among the Living (who’s based on the character Randall Flagg from Steven King’s The Stand if I’m not mistaken) tips his hat.

Scott bounds around the stage rap-rockin’ his heart out, and Frank does the squeakier-voiced parts (the crowd does all the responses in this bleeped for home consumption version). This is interspersed with quick shots of Anthrax fans, Joey offering the camera a spoonful of something, and a scary skull thingy. While they say “Charlie beat-the-beats-the-beats-you-beat” we see Joey drumming, and for the “only thing harder's the smell of my feet” we see the boys backstage after a show with Scott proffering his armpit hair for the camera.



Can I mention again how hot Frank looks? So frickin’ hot!! He’s wearing wristbands, a hat turned sideways, a black wifebeater, and colorfully patterned skate shorts. So many hearts!!

For the chorus, all band members go nuts, interspersed with shots of the crowd going nuts. Frank gets to shriek the “I’m the man! I’m the man! I’m so bad, I should be in detention!” while we see overhead shots of Anthrax members signing autographs for fans. We also see them mugging with fans, and of course, Charlie making silly faces for the camera. In between more crowd shots, we see weird images of scary masks, including a damn convincing corpse head, then shots of the band backstage. This culminates with a crossover -- the band posing with Frankenstein.

The chorus has the crowd going bonkers, including a great shot of a kid who’s probably about the age I was at this point headbanging. Scott runs around the stage, Frank stays in place and yells, and Charlie looks slightly awkward. Did I mention yet that Charlie is wearing a black fedora-style hat, a sleeveless tee, particularly short shorts, red and white striped socks, and black low-tops? Maybe this is contributing to the awkwardness. Scott briefly grabs the camera then looks bashful, then we see him shirtless and backstage again (on a side note, Frank, why did you keep your shirt on?).

Of course, the whole “but all of them can suck our…” gets crazy censored, but fortunately for us it is replaced with some backstage stuff and a priceless shot of Frank grinding wildly. We then see more of Anthrax signing stuff, including Charlie signing a fan’s scarf and then sneezing into it.



With the chorus, everyone in Anthrax sings, and some crazy dude yells at the camera then pours a drink over his head. Everyone takes their turn singing on the last verse (even Joey gets to yell, “a festival!”). Frank gets Dan in a headlock, and fans go crazy. One of the last ones we see is holding a scarf like the one Charlie sneezed on before, which says “Anthrax European Tour ’87.”

THE VERDICT I always like when something is clearly the idea of half the band, and you thus get to see the rest of the band be good sports and go along with it (Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" is a great example of this). In this case, Scott and Frank seem to be the most into this by far, with Charlie going along possibly to humor his nephew. Joey and Dan seem less enthused. Just wait till Scott meets Chuck D, guys.

Speaking of, my recap of "Bring the Noise" already extensively delves into the whole rap-rock thing, so let's set that aside for the moment and focus on one of the greatest points of this video: The clothes. The assorted members of Anthrax (excepting Charlie, who's wearing a genuinely bizarre outfit) display a marvelous melange of late 80s styles in this clip. The jam shorts, the tight shirts, the hats -- I love it all. And in case you didn't notice, I especially love it on Frank.

But okay back to the more serious stuff -- apparently this song was originally written with the intention of being performed with the Beastie Boys, and it shows. Oh, does it show. And not just in the sampled "yeah!" (which is lifted from "Fight For Your Right"). But they also pull from Run-DMC, lending further credence to my there could be no Anthrax as we know it without Rick Rubin theory. Long story short, I really like that Anthrax have a sense of humor and seem like nice guys, unlike some other thrash bands I might name (*cough* Metallica *cough). And given my love for all things Rick Rubin, including even things Rick Ruben-esque, I'm going to have to give the thumbs up to this one.